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This Just In: Chugging Patron Makes You Vomit. And We’ve Got the Video to Prove It.

Posted Aug 18 2010 4:00am

Is your day off to a great start?  Want it to take a disgusting turn townward?  Then treat yourselves to one of the newest and most foul YouTube memes:  The truly stupid attempting to chug a bottle of Patron.  Deadspin’s got a smattering of those videos right here .

Since John Belushi killed a bottle of Jack while moving out of the Delta House, high schoolers and college lightweights have been attempting to kill a fifth of hard liquor in one go.  I’ve never met a person who said, “I’m really glad I tried to do that”.  Mostly it’s abject shame when the story even gets mentioned.

For some reason, the prospect of someone chugging a fifth just isn’t funny.  The weaker or girlier the beverage is, the more fun (and funnier) it is to take down.  Smirnoff Ice ranks very high.  Mike’s Hard Lemonade?  Quite high as well.  Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill?  Hilarious.

Everclear?  Vodka?  Gin?  Not funny.  And possibly will kill you.  We at JAGT ask that people only pound very funny drinks from now on.  If not for your healthy, then for comedy.

BONUS FEATURE:

Do you want to see proof that perhaps Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill wasn’t always the type of beverage that teenagers and rednecks consumed in creek beds and empty fields? Ok. Here you go:

So remember, if you look like you’re in love, your Grandmother is supposed to give you a bottle of Boone’s during a makeout session in a wheatfield. I don’t get it either…

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