Self Help And Reflection: Self Esteem And Confidence
Posted Feb 02 2009 11:46pm
Self Esteem and confidence are not something that can be changed and improved overnight. Self esteem starts at a young age, as does confidence. Being a pompous, cocky jerk does not mean that a person is confident or has high self esteem. It only means they have been lead to believe that they are better than everyone else.
If a person says you can not achieve something then they better have good reason to back it up. If you have a positive, achievable goal that you want to accomplish and someone says that you can not do it, but doesn’t have a solid reason as to why you won’t be able to achieve it then they have their own issues. They either don’t think you can because they think they are better than you, they have tried something similar in the past and do not want to see someone else do what they couldn’t or they just don’t want to see you succeed. These people are Nay-sayers. They may also try to keep you from accomplishing your goal.
Having confidence in yourself does not necessarily require others to have confidence in you too. You can be confident in knowing that you can do something or make the right decision without seeking other’s approval. Having other peoples approval may help with this confidence, but in the end if you made the right decision and were confident in it then their approval will come later. If you are confident in everything that you do and people see this, then they will trust you more and hold you higher than people who are less confident, unreliable and indecisive. Confidence doesn’t always mean knowing your right, because sometimes you aren’t. Having confidence that a bridge can hold weight better have some truth to it, otherwise you’ll just look reckless.
Self esteem is not always easy come, as people along life’s road will try to spit and step on you along the way. Sometimes you have to spit back. If you let a person step on you once then they will try to do it again. If you stand your ground and show them that you mean business then they will know that you’re not easily taken advantage of. You can stand strong and be a nice person, but don’t let people mistake kindness for weakness. The first time they do, show them that they are mistaken. There is a time to be passive and a time to be aggressive. If it’s the case of a supervisor taking advantage of you because you don’t argue when given a crappy job while others complain and do everything they can to not have to do that job, then you need to either talk to that supervisor in private about the situation and explain that it’s not fair to you or you need to talk to your HR or that person’s supervisor. Don’t become the “volunteer”. Sometimes, However; they choose you because they know the job will get done right.
Respect is a two way street. If a person demands respect, they are either high or they have been fed the false notion that they deserve respect because they are a little higher on the totem poll than you are. That’s a load of crap. Treat others as you would wish to be treated…or as they treat you. It’s not always great to stoop to someone else’s level, but sometimes it helps to make them aware of themselves.