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Posted Aug 25 2010 4:00am
Yup, we're ready for some football.  Thanks for asking.

Yup, we're ready for some football. Thanks for asking.

Here is our one thousandth video featuring an Asian kid laying down an insane beat box for no particular reason other than he can. Listen for the “Rocky” theme. Please keep the beatboxes coming. We’ll let you know when we’re sick of them. ( )

Football season is right around the corner.  Which means fantasy football season is right around the corner.  You thought of the perfect team name in May didn’t you?  Yeah, well, you forgot, so check out these guidelines for naming your fantasy team.  JAGT input:  Just don’t make your team name serious.  If you call your team “The Crushers” or “Cowboys Suck”, you’re going to look like a huge dork.  ( )

Chad Ochocinco may be a walking, breathing douchenozzle, but he’s definitely entertaining.  Here’s a piece on Ochocinco getting randomly selected for a drug test, then his follow up tweet that’s he’s not concerned cause all he does is “piss excellence for them”.  Awesome.  ( )

Winter’s gonna be hear before you know it.  So kill all your summer liquors before it’s too late and start stockpiling on the warm and fuzzy stuff, like this awesome-sounding gingersnap liqueur, called simply, Snap.  I’ve already developed a winter drink called “Oh Snap!”.  It’s one part Snap liqueur and one part witty comeback.  Drink responsibly.  ( )

Here’s a quiz that asks you to identify 18 beers by their label only (sans name, of course).  If you get less than 15, please burn your drinking shoes.  Even non-drinkers who watch sports should be able to kill this one.  ( )

Here’s a helpful guide featuring 10 signs that you might be a huge douche.  Let us save you some time:  If you have to take a test to figure out if you’re a douche, you’re a (spoiler alert!) huge fucking douche.  Let the prophecy self-fulfill.  ( )

Do you have more money than sense?  Then this $200k fish tank is for you.  It’s features include: glass, water, and presumably some other aquarium shit that we’re not going to bore you with.  A total waste of money.  Unless you name one of your fish Billy Ocean.  Then you can’t afford not to get this thing.  ( )

This, ahem, National Enquirer report claims that Julia Roberts and her husband used to (gasp!) smoke pot and play Halo.  Celebrities!  They’re just like us.  It’s now officially acceptable to smoke pot.  ( )

Kanye West promises to drop a new song every week until Christmas, which means we can expect one of two things: a broken promise or lots of bad songs.  Either way, prepare to get disappointed.  ( )

Here’s one half of the Shannon twins miming sex acts on a poolside bed.  If she tries to get you to take her to a club, know that she’s not 21 yet.  I had that misfortune and got a strongly-worded letter from Hef and almost blackballed from the club.  And she seemed so trustworthy…( )

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