Some scientists are working to cure cancer. Others are building devices to measure the quality of your farts. Hey, we all have a calling.
Robert Clain and Miguel Salas, two computer engineering students at Cornell – yes, we are, in fact, talking about an Ivy League school – are fart pioneers. The Lewis and Clark of farting, if you will.
The dynamic duo have designed the Stench Seeker – a machine to measure the quality of your farts. As soon as it detects a small movement of air, the fart detector kicks into action using a sensitive hydrogen sulfide monitor, thermometer and microphone.
All this technology is employed to measure the “quality” of a fart. You see, to fart connoisseurs there are three elements of fart quality: stench, temperature and sound. Temperature is a critical measurement – the hotter the fart the faster it spreads. See what you missed when you fell asleep in physics?
The Stench Seeker produces a fart rating of 1 to 9. If you crank out a 9, a fan starts up to get rid of your stench. It will even record the noise so you can play it back later for your fart connoisseur buddies, a.k.a. frat house brothers.
Clain and Salas demonstrated their detector in class by making raspberry noises and blowing on it – breath has enough hydrogen sulfide to get the detector humming. Amazing, their professor awarded the project an A.