Ten Things Not to Ask a Traditional Martial Arts Instructor

1. I have been studying martial arts videos for years in my basement. What rank does that make me in your style?

2. Regarding testing. Can I test for black belt in one year? Can I double test? Skip a belt?

3. I learned a technique from a video that will make the heart race then stop. Can I try that on you?

4. Can I add a roll fall in the kata? I want to give it more pizazz.

5. I am not interested in learning kata. Can you just teach me to fight?

6. Regarding traditional weapons: Can I hollow out my bo? Can I add reflective tape? Can I use foam nunchaku for testing?

7. Can you teach my kid karate? I want to make sure that he does not get picked on. I want him to know how to beat the other kids up.

8. You are a girl. Who else is teaching?

9. What is the proper kiai for children in a tournament…yelling “ kiai ” or “kill”?

10. Can I buy a multi-colored gi with the words "Master Blaster Extraordinaire" embroidered in gold on the back?

This is my list of the Ten Things Not to Ask a Traditional Martial Arts Instructor. So…what do you think? Do you have any others to add to the list?