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Pullin' an All Weeker

Posted Jun 02 2008 5:03pm
Tired Recently some athletes have suggested that my unigue week long cram secession training for the Space Coast Half marathon last year was not such a grand idea...to put it mildly!

Take a look at THIS link and please read the comments if you have a sec.

Let me just say that there was universal agreement that you can not, and should not, cram for a race.

So sure the running coaches may frown on my haphazardness and reckless "week long" training plan with statements such as:

"You'll kill yourself!"
"You can't train for anything in a week,"
"Did you fall and hit your head?"
"You mean 13.1 minutes...not miles..right?"
"Have you ever ran a step in your life?"
"Ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa," and
"What are you stupid?"

But than again, they don't get paid for seven day training plans.

Well I say don't knock it until you've tried it.

I remember pullin' lots-O all-nighters in college before my big exams. It was not the ideal way to study, but it was a great excuse to drink coke, eat pizza, and brag to your friends after you squeaked by with a C on the test.

And that's why I say if life, or your boss, or your kids, or your diet (or lack thereof) or travel, or your dog or cat, or your mom, or your crazy brother-in-law, or alcohol, or lack of alcohol, or money, or lack of money, or the weather, or a cold, flu, allergy and/or erection lasting more than fours hours, gets in the way of your training, pull an all weeker.

"But but and but Roman," you say "that's just simply silly, dumb and dangerous and besides you can't get ready for a run to the bus stop in a week, let along a 5, 10, 15, 20K race! Everybody knows that it just can't be done."

So I ask, "What's your alternative Mr. or Mrs. smarty pants?"

"Do you drop out of the race, or show up at the starting line after zero training and a week long taper?"

"Hmmmm, please say something! What's wrong, the cat's got your tongue!"

So since I don't hear a real answer except some wimpy and lame excuse about traveling to Peoria for a oral hygiene marketing convention, and how the hotel's one and only treadmill was the wrong color to run on, and how you had to get the dog dewormed and the kids potty trained, or was it the kids dewormed and the dog potty trained, anyway I guess I won't be racing this weekend...thank you very much!"

"Pathetic!, I say to you. "Just plain pathetic."

So to help you here's the easy 5 step Everyman guide to "Pullin' an all Weeker" to get ready for your race.

5) Don't do the crime if you can't do the time

In the week before the race make sure that at a minimum you cover the same distance as the actual race. That means if you are running a half marathon, you'll need to run at least 13.1 miles.

Why?

Because even if your body won't be ready to rumble your brain will. On race day you'll be able to say to yourself I may not shatter any world records, but at least I've gone this distance before.

"Yea I can do this!

4) No Chicken Tikka Masala Pleeeeease

In the week before the race don't eat anything new, or try any new foods. The last thing you need now is to battle your bowel, or discover the joys of being the monarch of all you survey with all that new found thrown time.

3) Rest and Recover

You'll need at least one day between in run to recover. I'm not going to suggest how far to run. I'll leave that up to you, but give yourself at least one day to recover after every run/workout.

2) Wink, wink they don't drug test age-group athletes.

If you happen to work for a large pharmaceutical company or at the local hospital, you may consider getting your hands on some EPO. Nothing like a dramatic and immediate boost in your red blood cell count to make race day a walk in the park.

You know I'm just kidding...right? Please don't call your local law enforcement authorities or pretend like you though this was a real tip and now it's time to ride the law suit express to easy town.

I can however recommend a good multivitamin to help keep you healthy before race morning.

And finally the number 1 step to the Everyman guide to "Pullin' an all Weeker"

1) Two Words: "Muscle" and "Memory"

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