I detest the title of this post. Even more, I detest the whole concept of Lyme disease sufferers having subconscious agendas that are keeping us sick. It tends to shift the blame of illness upon oneself, and self-flagellation is not productive for healing. Besides, why in the world would anyone want to be sick? Yet, it's a concept worth considering, if it can be done in a spirit of grace towards oneself. After all, subconscious factors play into the dsyfunctional ways we relate to others in relationships, so why shouldn't our bodies be influenced by the agenda of the subconcious as well? Believe it or not, our distorted belief systems and underlying secondary gains are often what keep us from attaining perfect health.
Beliefs like, "I don't deserve to heal", or, "the only way I'll be loved by my family is if I am sick" can keep us in Lyme Hell.
Some secondary gains that are realized through illness include; not having to get a job, (after all, it's easier to stay at home and play on the internet than to go out into the world and have to figure out what you should be doing for a living); receiving sympathy and attention from family members; having comraderie with fellow Lyme disease sufferers; becoming useful to other sick people, and having time to rest after a lifetime of being pushed too hard to work. The possibilities are endless.
This is, of course, not the case for everyone, or even the majority, but for some, it is a factor in why they might not be recovering from illness.
Extracting the subconscious gains can be difficult, however, and may require the assistance of a trained therapist. Nonetheless, contemplating what unhealthy gains you might be receiving from illness is a worthwhile endeavor, for the sake of healing the underlying wound behind the need for such a gain, and thereby recovering fully.