I have been re-reading "A Pace of Grace" by Linda Popov this week and the chapter on forgiveness spoke to me at just the right time...actually the topic of self-forgiveness was just what I needed to hear. My inner critic had been marching around in my brain with a megaphone, reminding me loudly of all my failures and mistakes. She especially likes to remind me of my less than perfect skills at being a mother. Popov's insights on self-forgiveness really spoke to me, and hopefully will for some of you, too. Let me share a few:
"Forgiving ourselves means we stop punishing ourselves or feeling hopeless for something we did. We move ahead, ready to do things differently, with compassion for ourselves and faith that we can change.""We cannot change the past or undo the actions we deeply regret, but we can make amends in the present by changing what we do now. Instead of making excuses, we can make amends. Instead of shaming ourselves when we make a mistake, we can take responsibility to clean it up. We can call ourselves to humility, not humiliation." Popov spoke about not focusing on our faults, but on the "virtues" in our lives. She writes
, " When we focus on our virtues, we no longer feel like a victim of our own deficiencies." This is exactly how I had been feeling...helpless with the things about myself I still want to change and frustrated like the Apostle Paul who said, "I do the things I do not want to do." I was being held captive by my own deficiencies because my focus was on them, and not on the virtues I do have.
There are many areas of my life where Popov's thoughts would apply~ relationships, managing my CFS and Lyme, my eating habits, etc. etc. I found her insights on forgiveness to have so many Teachable Moments, to use her words. I end this post with her words: Self-forgiveness heals.
And anything we can do to help our healing process move forward is a good thing!
"Forgiving ourselves means we stop punishing ourselves or feeling hopeless for something we did. We move ahead, ready to do things differently, with compassion for ourselves and faith that we can change."
"We cannot change the past or undo the actions we deeply regret, but we can make amends in the present by changing what we do now. Instead of making excuses, we can make amends. Instead of shaming ourselves when we make a mistake, we can take responsibility to clean it up. We can call ourselves to humility, not humiliation."
Popov spoke about not focusing on our faults, but on the "virtues" in our lives. She writes , " When we focus on our virtues, we no longer feel like a victim of our own deficiencies." This is exactly how I had been feeling...helpless with the things about myself I still want to change and frustrated like the Apostle Paul who said, "I do the things I do not want to do." I was being held captive by my own deficiencies because my focus was on them, and not on the virtues I do have.
There are many areas of my life where Popov's thoughts would apply~ relationships, managing my CFS and Lyme, my eating habits, etc. etc. I found her insights on forgiveness to have so many Teachable Moments, to use her words. I end this post with her words: Self-forgiveness heals.
And anything we can do to help our healing process move forward is a good thing!