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Push, Pull. Back, forth. Let Go.

Posted May 06 2011 10:17pm

I love teaching. I used to be really good at it. Now, on my good days, my gifts still shine through. But I’m not able to teach like I used to. I know that my students see my light within, even though I often just see a disorganized train wreck. So, I continue to teach even though teaching a class, even one day a week, leaves me feeling like I’ve been run through a mangle.

The students want me to teach. The parents want me to teach. I want to teach. But I’m tired. I have to slow down my treatment so that I can function and so I have enough energy to teach.

So tonight, I made a decision. I am going to take the fall semester off. Treat hard, rest and take care of myself. And NOT add anything else to my schedule in any way. I’m full. I am really full.

Letting go is a good thing. I still love teaching. I just want to get well enough to make the hour 1/4 a week that I teach, be better and stronger. I want to be well enough for my heart to sing, again. I want my heart to sing, again.

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