Joel has been given a diagnosis of Lyme Disease. Yesterday he said to me, "We are not partners in crime"......We are partners in Lyme!!!
He had a good chuckle over that while I wondered if he was really untouched by his diagnosis or just in denial over what we are facing....
Today he woke up and said to me, "I am just plain ornery today! I am really ticked that I have Lyme". Anger, an emotion my husband he feels is really a waste of energy. But anger often hides fear, and we are both experiencing moments of that.
While Joel was joking and chatty I was scared. When he was angry I was sad. Tonight he is doing okay and I am angry...and ornery!
We are grieving. We are processing. It is what we need to do. Processing and going through the stages of grief. There is loss in being given a diagnosis that changes your life. It is important to work through the feelings that come with this kind of loss, too. It comes and goes...we breathe it in and we breathe it out. Processing. Necessary. A good thing.