Clinics begone- I am now amid detox frustration. I began with nine pills and am slowly irking to none.
To updateCaught in a web of conflictive information, I meditate. When I was first informed of my new found Oxycodone allergy due Dr X, I immediately rang my psychiatrist with an emotional message. I was certainly distraught and heard nothing back until the next time I came across her. At this time, her approach was set in a staunch, stone-no. No to the fact that Lyme patients can be addicted to Opioids, no to my need to relinquish them from my system, and no to any possibility of Oxycodone waning in efficiency. Her entire being resonated with an insecurity born of long term collaboration (or lack) with Dr X.
I decided to wait until January as: I was spending a week in beautiful Hawaii, in Houston for Thanksgiving, Christmas-ing, and attending Lady Gaga. It was a choice I am happy with. However, with each week a new rash or boil erupts on my skin due to this asinine allergy. Once all occasions had passed, I felt ready to recognize the illness and bloom through it.
Now, to be clear, Dr X's theory opposes Dr Psych's philosophy. Each demands my full contribution. Each will not listen to the other. I had to make the choice, alone at catch-22 years old. I decided on both. Here are their hypotheses Dr X: Opioids are highly addictive to all who consume them. Overtime, like many other medications, the drug's ability to function decreases. One is left with more pain and less of an ability to alleviate it. It suppresses neurotransmitters in a way that is harmful over time. At a certain point, Lyme patients in particular, can develop intolerance to Oxycodone that cause variant skin conditions and internal inflammation.
Dr Psych: Oxycodone, in situations of Lyme Disease, is non addictive. If one takes it for physical pain alone, it is non addictive. It is also, at a prescribed dose, lacking in any real danger or side effect. One could remain upon it for the entirety of their lives and see little to no difference in their functioning. Oxycodone does not decrease in its ability to treat pain. Never has there been a case of allergy to Oxycodone.
So, as you can see, through confliction, I must wage and wage lighty. I am attempting to embody both ideas, preparing as such.
To my surprise, the first pill was removed with little effort or side effect. The second however, presented a massive challenge The night of the removal, I noticed strong symptoms of full body inflammation. By the next morning, I cold barely remove myself from my boudoir. At first, the symptoms were entirely physical. I schlepped myself into the IV room for a healing Amino Acid IV (supposedly, the aminos aid in the formation of lost or suppressed neurotransmitters caused by long term addiction). Oddly enough, the IV created a sense of doom within me. The next morning, new symptoms occurred. I was intensely irritable to the point of rage. Soon after, excitement and joy would hit followed by an evening of severe, sob-worthy depression. Then, the cycle would begin again. This was and is by far my most acute symptom: mood swings. It has been little over a week and yet this particular means of be exist in me still. A rustic, futile effort to overthrow- so I simply play follow the leader and nestle within the nausea until it passes to the next grotesque phase.
Other rather minimal symptoms include: mild nausea and stomach cramping, damp sweats, and sinewed headaches.
On the sixth day, the swelling subsided and relief flushed in. It was however followed by feelings of muscle constriction as if my blood pressure were being taken in the full of my being. The mood swings remain as ever. This morning, the irritability turned to sadness and the bulk of my issues gave way Why me? Why now? Why this pain?
Always, that seems to be the question.
The second of nine. The thought of going through this again makes me sick.