obviously, i have some anxiety over what this could reveal...
but at this point i am more concerned about just making it to the appointment and enduring the MRI i cannot move around without incredible pain walking is agonizing and fatiguing being upright leaves me breathless, sweaty, shaking, twitching and makes my heart race uncontrollably if i push myself hard, i can tolerate sitting up for about an hour MAX the only thing i have been out of bed, off the couch or out of the house for in the past 10 days is my detox and doctor appointments all of which have required ESCORTATION
OK i doubt escortation is actually a word but sometimes my brain malfunctions and i say wierd things or can't find the right word in my head so apprently the other day i said "escortation" when i meant "escort" after graham figured it out, he thought that that was very funny ha ha. not. but stress can make you a little hysterical.
anyway after "correctly" using "escort" in a public setting...as in saying...
"i need an escort"; "i'm going out with an escort"; "i am waiting for my escort to pick me up." "your pillow is in the car. your seat is reclined. your escort is ready for you."
that sounds far more scandolous and embarassing to me than using a word that is non existent in the english language....
voila, escortation is born.
and well, i have to find a way to laugh about this otherwise i'd just cry
i hate this i cannot drive i cannot walk without help and support i hate feeling helpless but the reality is that we NEED help i need help heavens, i need an entire "escortation team"
i've had to rely on my mom, my M-I-L, my friend and of course Graham when 'heavy lifting' is in order (me being the 'lifted' -but, EXCUSE ME i'm blaming the heavy part on my lymph fluid)
my escortation team is such a blessing everyone is very gracious but i know that they are overwhelmed by the need and stressed out and tired out
and with no relief in sight, we could all use a whole lotta prayer
PS thx to those of you who have sent messages of encouragement in response to my last post, your encouragemnt and support mean more to me and lift me up more than i can adequately express. xoxo s.