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Listening To My Body

Posted Jan 11 2009 5:25pm
I have read that when our body is trying to tell us something, first it whispers. If we do not listen, it then yells. If we continue to ignore it's voice, it screams. Sooner or later, we will need to listen to what our bodies are saying or suffer the consequences. For those who are chronically ill, waiting until our bodies scream at us is a big deal in a major way. It could mean the difference between a set back and a relapse...a slight problem or unrepairable damage...

My body's whispers are always invading my thoughts, so I tend to ignore them ~ not a good idea. When my body starts "talking firmly to me" I often share my symptoms with my husband ~ maybe hoping by saying them out loud they will disappear...but I still do not listen. I will listen when my body starts yelling, but if the right opportunity presents itself ~ like an unexpected phone call from a family member, I will choose to ignore the symptoms that I am feeling to be able to enjoy the contact. Unfortunately these kinds of choices often mean that my body ends up screaming at me and I spend a good amount of time trying to recover. I do not recommend this. It has never served me well.

When my body started to exhibit more pain and brain fog three weeks ago, I knew it was due to Bartonella and Lyme bacteria dying off, so I kept moving forward taking my meds every day and ignoring the increase of pain until by body started "screaming" with pain. After all, "no pain no gain" in the world of bacteria die-off. But how much can we handle before our bodies give out and our minds close down? That is the question. Those who have gone on antibiotic IV's or massive amounts of meds and walked or rather crawled through the herxing to a better place swear by this protocol. Others who have taken only what their body could tolerate...or a bit more....believe this is the way to go. Some have decided not to use antibiotics because of their affect on the immune system, and have used herbs, homeopathy, and energy techniques for treatment and found success there. (herxing occurs with this protocol too.)Still others don't feel herxing is necessary at all and only take small amounts at a time with breaks in between for their protocol. I don't believe there is any one consensus right now. Each of us has to come to a place of trusting the doctors we have and trusting our own instincts or intuition on what protocol is best for us and what we can handle while still moving forward in our goal to heal. What is best for one Lymie may not be best for another. What works for my Lymie may not work for another.

I am trying to come to terms with that right now. I am trying to decide how much medication I can handle and still have some function in my daily life. I am trying to walk the balance beam of killing Lyme without causing permanent damage to my body elsewhere. I am not there yet, but it seems as so often happens for me, little bits of information are coming forward to help me understand and be able to come to a decision that is best for me. The only thing I know for sure is that quitting is not an option. I am still connecting the dots from my bed or sofa....but more and more dots are now coming together into a pattern that is revealing a plan just for me.
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