I am afraid my mood matches the dark and rainy weather we are having today. I am so depressed! The malaria medication is really messing with my head. The other night I was so hyper and speedy that I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin. My Heart was racing and when my heart beat gets really irregular (another gift from the Bb infection) I feel like I can’t breathe. I was having a lot of anxiety and I was having these strange hallucinations. I had the Hallucinations once before when I started the first abx and my LLMD said it was caused by the spirochetes dying off, when you think about it I guess it makes since because my brain has been invaded by them. That night was like a waking nightmare and I thank God that it did not last. Since then I have just fallen back into the overwhelming fatigue and depression.
An RN from Dartmouth told me to not fight the dye off poisoning or to look at it as a bad thing, instead she said to turn my mind to the fact that the more ill I become on these medications the more it means that these stubborn spirochetes are dying and my system is working hard to get rid of their dead little bodies. They are losing the battle, not me! When I think of it in those terms it is very empowering and gives me great mental strength knowing that with my LLMD, the medication and God’s help I will be victorious over the vicious disease.
Better days are coming.
An RN from Dartmouth told me to not fight the dye off poisoning or to look at it as a bad thing, instead she said to turn my mind to the fact that the more ill I become on these medications the more it means that these stubborn spirochetes are dying and my system is working hard to get rid of their dead little bodies. They are losing the battle, not me! When I think of it in those terms it is very empowering and gives me great mental strength knowing that with my LLMD, the medication and God’s help I will be victorious over the vicious disease.
Better days are coming.