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Posted Jan 29 2010 4:12pm
I'm trying something new with adjusting the settings of my blog to private just to see how it feels.

I'm a bit discouraged because it seems I've been in a decline since October. I keep waiting for a return to my previous baseline functioning but so far it remains as elusive as a butterfly. I haven't been pushing myself because I've spent the past 2 plus months in bed for 20 hours per day. It must be the fact that I've had to severely restrict my diet to avoid the upper right side quadrant pain. In spite of eating about 1000 calories per day (I'm completely sedentary) I'd say I've lost a good 30 plus pounds at this point and still losing. I've added Ensure just to get more calories. It tastes great but doesn't make me feel all that great because it has a lot of sugar in it but also 230 calories and nutrients both of which I need.

My endoscopy is Tuesday at 8:00 a.m. I'm nervous about it and have been going in and out of fear at what might be going on. I haven't a clue. I keep thinking of what Toni said in her comments and it helps.

I'm working on dealing with my ever growing anxiety so I'm back to listening to relaxation exercises, etc....to get my body to calm down.

I've stopped all treatments except for Famvir, hydrocortisone, thryroid med, sleep meds, and calcium/magnesium supplements until I find out what's going on.

I'm trying to do some work on my attitude. I feel zero sense of spirituality and it what I most want and need right now. So I downloaded a bunch of guided imagery from itunes in the hopes that it will reawaken a spiritual sense as well as a sense of meaning.

I don't know that I'll post again prior to the endoscopy but I'll keep you all posted on the results if I get them that day....

Peace and Health to All...
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