It feels as if my body is caving on itself and I, suffocating under its weight. Though, I am compelled to write. And so, it is.
Sifting through the remains of yesterday at exactly 4:00 AM, I find my bodily questions unreservedly unanswered. I am numbed by Arsenicum Album, a homeopathic used to dampen the purest of fear. My kidneys are hay-wiring their way through the night. Like Mingus. And I am reminded that I am yet 24.
I am tired. But not weary, like I was. I am under the spell of consistently rejuvenating hope, though the feeling is lost, the drive remains. I. Will. Sleep. Fully. (at some point).
My dysfunction is now noticeable to others that do not know me as opposed to its prior state of unseen relativity. Again, I am here.
These recent blog posts are like vapors.
This is my post-Zyprexa protocol, and why the vapors exist 2 Pumps of Liposomal GABA, three times daily 1 Tablet Sam-e morning and night 2 Tablets Kavinace three times daily 1 Drop Iodine topically at night 1 Capful Micro Minerals two times daily 1 Capsule Ashwaganda in the morning plus two at night for adrenals Smile Essential Oils rubbed topically on wrists several times a day 10 Drops Arsenicum Album three times daily 3-15 mg Melatonin (extended release from most supplement stores) for sleep Trazodone for sleep
I have been receiving pain from what I perceived to be one of my supplements, however, post apocalyptus/my naturopathic appointment yesterday afternoon, I learned heavy metals are releasing into my gut and brain due to the loss of three pounds in one week over Zyprexa removal. Toxins are stored in body fat, when weight is lost, said toxins are released. Joy of joys, more DMPS. Yesterday, I received the injections upon my large intestine, liver, and lymph nodes of the chest. A light day, to be honest.
This is my current anti toxin protocol 2 pumps Glutathione two times per day (held under the tongue for 1 minute, then swallowed) 1 tsp Green Clay once per day, isolated from food and supplements one hour each side 3 capsules PC Ecklonia Cava at bedtime Castor Oil Packs- 2-3 times per week- rub a teaspoon on the stomach and place hot packs over, 1/2 hr Combination Lymphatic therapy with a colonic twice a month Weekly localized DMPS and Procaine injections
I see Dr X in one week. I am so unstable that I have difficulty being around people at all. Wish me luck, or at least, production.