It never fails that when you're having a rough day, maybe flaring, you'll run into someone you know. The opening line for that conversation always starts with "How are you feeling?" If I'm honest with them and tell them I'm hurting pretty bad today, it's inevitable that the response you receive is "you look fine, you wouldn't even know you were sick." Argh! I know that they are being nice and trying to make you feel better, but it just frustrates me even more that people really can't understand what your body feels like.
I have great friends and an even better family, but it still doesn't stop me from forcing a smile onto my face at every dinner party and telling everyone that I'm doing fine. It just seems easier sometimes to not have to always explain what you are really feeling like inside. I don't want them to always think of me as being the girl whose always sick. I secretly yearn for the life I had before the Lupus diagnosis, but in reality, I know that life isn't possible anymore. That doesn't mean that my new life can't be just as great as my old one. Just because something's different, it doesn't make it bad. Sometimes people just don't want to know how rough my life can be. Isn't it just easier to say you feel fine?