Things You Will Never Hear

Surgeon: "Sure, I've seen many survivors of a porta-caval shunt."

Obama: "I don't think the stimulus package is working."

MediCaid Patient: "That's OK doctor, I don't need a prescription for Tylenol."

Ambulance Driver:"No, VMM, I don't want a beer."

Rogue Medic:"You know, I agree with you."

TOTOTYTR:"No, I don't want to shoot your pistol."

Dentist: 'That's OK. I'll see him even if he can't afford it."

STD Patient: "I can't wait to tell my wife."

ENT Specialist: "Sure, I'd love to come in and help you with that nose bleed."

Hospitalist: "Can you look around the ER for some admissions? We're bored."

Neurologist: "Sure, I'll admit him to my service."

Neurosurgeon: "Oh what a beautiful morning! Oh what a beautiful day!"

Tourist: "We're going to England for the great food and dental care."

Emergency Physician: "Boy the ER is busy. I'll stay over and help."