"Just to inform you Concrete Jungle 2, this patient has had 3 ambulances out today and a total of 5 over the weekend"
We arrived at the homeless unit to be met by an exhausted looking housing officer.
"I'm so sorry, one of the residents called you about her this time as she did it in front of the kids" "Whats been happening?" "She has been having 'seizures', this time she threw herself back and started thrashing around in the garden. We said very loudly near her that we would need to check her room for alcohol as she is supposed to be off it and funnily enough she snapped right out of the 'seizure' and went to her room" "Ok where is she now?" "That's her there, following the wall around the garden, she has been drinking even though she denies it she has been seen with cans of Special" "Right"
We approached the patient and persuaded her to go to her room to talk to us. I won't go into everything that was said but basically I made it clear we were not happy with this behaviour. We asked if she wanted to go to hospital, she said yes. I pointed out that I wasn't going to take her just for her to walk out again and have another ambulance back later. She said she would stay. I checked all her vital signs which were normal and tried to find out some history, her speech was fairly incoherent and she was less than helpful. I asked again if she wanted to go to hospital and she said yes.
As we were walking down the corridor she attempted to throw herself backwards again. I told her to stop it loudly and firmly. If anybody has seen a seizure this doesn't happened, people tend go rigid and drop or may just drop, they don't throw themselves with force directly against you.
In the ambulance I placed the patient on the stretcher, within two minutes of leaving the location she started to groan and reach out and grab at the equipment above her head, she was directly going for it in a co-ordinated effort, again not generally seizure behaviour. I went to the other end of the stretcher and pull her down the bed by her ankles before grabbing her wrists.
"Stop it, I am not having this, not in my ambulance, do you understand?"
She stops, she nods and says "I'll just sleep"
"That's a good plan"
We arrived at the Holy Hospital and opened the back doors
"Right, lets go"
A groan and she rolled over. I lifted the back of the stretcher so she was forced to sit up
"HEY" "C'mon, up, we're at the hospital" A groan "I am not having this, up, NOW"
She pulled herself off the stretcher and pointed at me
"You are very bossy! And I don't think its advantageous" This was slurred with the finger wobbling in front of me.
"Well I suggest you get into that wheel chair there and I'll hand you over and stop bossing you around but you are not staying here."
She got up and and moved towards the ambulance steps, I took her arm to stop her from landing face first out of the ambulance. She snatched her arm away...........
"I am not a child"
In my head, the voice I was dying to let out, says "Well stop bloody acting like one then!!!" I let go of her arm and let her wobble out and into the chair. She sat down and turned the pointy finger back to me................
"I am going to report you, I am going to tell them you are very bossy"
"That's fine. My name is Louise Ambulance-Nut and I work at Concrete Jungle, would you like the phone number as well"
I apologised to the nurses at triage. After going around the back and wash my hands, I walked back past triage and I saw 2 nurses stood over our patient "get up!"
We got back into the ambulance and cleared for the next job, as we pull away I saw our patient leaving the hospital.
Wonder how long it was before she had another ambulance out.