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Hi-Viz Drunk

Posted Apr 24 2010 8:59am
It seems that finally, work is following me. Last week in church I was thinking about all the times I had gone to churches at work. One morning I visited three in a row! Not twenty minutes later I noticed a curfuffle in front of me as a guy fainted and was using the person next to him as a prop. A guy behind me (a doctor) noticed a second before I did and got their first. As the sermon started, the patient was telling us he was fine and didn't want to go to the hospital, and there isn't much I can do with that. The doc had taken the seat next to him and was checking him over and feeling his pulse in a satisfactory way so I went back to my seat. The whole rest of the service I watched this guy. I think he enjoyed making us nervous as he insisted on standing at all the right times and going up for communion. Nothing else happened, but I had one glorious moment of excitement.
Then, today on my way to the gym I noticed a guy laying on the ground. Oh, no I thought. He was wearing a new hi-vis coat and we were near a construction site, so maybe he was a worker taking a siesta? The guy walking in front of me stopped and in the ten seconds it took for me to get there had already dialed 999. I walked up to this guy, and immediately knew he was drunk. It's a universal look. I dug my knuckles into his chest while asking him to wake up. He mumbled a few things before rolling back over. Good times. I insisted he get up and asked him if there was anything actually wrong. At this point he asked me if I was a yank.
If you can figure that much out, then you need to not be laying here. By then, a few people had gathered and when they looked at me I put my hand to my mouth like a glass, and tipped it up. They were all duely unimpressed and moved on. The guy calling the ambulance actually told them to cancel! I love that guy!
So, we got the drunk man sitting up and he was totally fine. 'You're a yank!' 'Yes, now get up. You can't sleep here, people are going to keep calling ambulances for you.' 'Okay, Okay.' Then he had the nerve to ask us for spare change. No, but luckily spare time to look after you.
This whole exchange really made my day. I'm serious!

Then on the way back to the gym I arrived at the same time as an ambulance for a lady at a bus stop who had fallen and broken her ankle. Now I was weirded out. Work was finding me. I observed this crew not give this crying patient entonox and put her on their bulky but lift free stretcher.
I can't wait to go back to work.
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