So, for my counseling shift last quarter, I was suggested to read a book: “Home Coming”, by John Bradshaw, from my clinic supervisor. Which I did.
I found it to be a really touching book, actually (and made me think that I need to work on my own past experiences more in depth). The author discussed how we, as infants and children, need to have our basic needs met. And if they are not, then we tend to get “stuck” in certain age groups or ranges until we feel as if we are stable and supported. For example, an infant needs the basic needs of: love, food, water, warmth, and safety. A child needs to know that his or her parents are not going to abandon them, that someone loves them, and that they are wanted.
Even if a parent never told the child that they were never wanted, or they were a mistake, the child can pick up on that intention and that energy given off by the parent, which could hinder their growth. Or if the child’s parents were not in a place in their life that they were willing to give up their own life to have a child, the child could, in return, be parenting to the parent, even. Which is an interesting, but true, concept.
I’d have to admit that (although I have made huge strides in this area) I’m still shy to bring up a highly emotional situation directly. Maybe it’s because of my stoic Polish Family/background that emotions are not talked about, and if they are, typically you only have two emotions that are allowed: you’re happy or you’re pissed off. And if you’re pissed off, you’re just gonna hold it inside and let it ruminate. (Really Naturopathic, I know)
So I did some of the exercises in the book, and it turned out to be a huge cathartic event for me. I have grown in so many ways living on my own, on the opposite side of the country, working and going to medical school, trying not to ask my parents for any help, that I consider this to be an advancement in my emotional maturity. I want to be able to forgive the things that have happened to me throughout my life, whether I deem them to be fair or unfair, and be at peace with the past.
We had a class on Sunday, called Naturopathic Clinical Theory, in which Dr. Louise Edwards, ND came to speak and lecture. Out of all the wonderful information that she told us, the one thing that stuck in my mind the most was that she ended on the concept of consciousness, and how it influences our health. Our experience of a certain event can trigger release of endorphins, or adrenaline, or other chemical neurotransmitters to cause our body to have a response. There is also scientific basis stating that just thinking about an event (traumatic or enjoyable) can stimulate the same chemicals to be released as if it were really happening.
Which brings me to my point that things that have happened in the past (whether yours or mine) should not be still affecting our bodies, causing recurring pain, strife, or hurt. We need to find a way to work through our own problems (taking a walk in the woods, exercising, spending time with friends, adopting a pet), that will give us peace with our lives. Whether or not you have picked up that your parents may not were ready for you in their lives as a child, know that you are surrounded by people that love you and care about you. Family is whatever your definition of it needs to be. I invite you to explore the concept of healing your inner child, and finding peace for yourself. Your health will thank you.
So, for my counseling shift last quarter, I was suggested to read a book: “Home Coming”, by John Bradshaw, from my clinic supervisor. Which I did.
I found it to be a really touching book, actually (and made me think that I need to work on my own past experiences more in depth). The author discussed how we, as infants and children, need to have our basic needs met. And if they are not, then we tend to get “stuck” in certain age groups or ranges until we feel as if we are stable and supported. For example, an infant needs the basic needs of: love, food, water, warmth, and safety. A child needs to know that his or her parents are not going to abandon them, that someone loves them, and that they are wanted.
Even if a parent never told the child that they were never wanted, or they were a mistake, the child can pick up on that intention and that energy given off by the parent, which could hinder their growth. Or if the child’s parents were not in a place in their life that they were willing to give up their own life to have a child, the child could, in return, be parenting to the parent, even. Which is an interesting, but true, concept.
I’d have to admit that (although I have made huge strides in this area) I’m still shy to bring up a highly emotional situation directly. Maybe it’s because of my stoic Polish Family/background that emotions are not talked about, and if they are, typically you only have two emotions that are allowed: you’re happy or you’re pissed off. And if you’re pissed off, you’re just gonna hold it inside and let it ruminate. (Really Naturopathic, I know)
So I did some of the exercises in the book, and it turned out to be a huge cathartic event for me. I have grown in so many ways living on my own, on the opposite side of the country, working and going to medical school, trying not to ask my parents for any help, that I consider this to be an advancement in my emotional maturity. I want to be able to forgive the things that have happened to me throughout my life, whether I deem them to be fair or unfair, and be at peace with the past.
We had a class on Sunday, called Naturopathic Clinical Theory, in which Dr. Louise Edwards, ND came to speak and lecture. Out of all the wonderful information that she told us, the one thing that stuck in my mind the most was that she ended on the concept of consciousness, and how it influences our health. Our experience of a certain event can trigger release of endorphins, or adrenaline, or other chemical neurotransmitters to cause our body to have a response. There is also scientific basis stating that just thinking about an event (traumatic or enjoyable) can stimulate the same chemicals to be released as if it were really happening.
Which brings me to my point that things that have happened in the past (whether yours or mine) should not be still affecting our bodies, causing recurring pain, strife, or hurt. We need to find a way to work through our own problems (taking a walk in the woods, exercising, spending time with friends, adopting a pet), that will give us peace with our lives. Whether or not you have picked up that your parents may not were ready for you in their lives as a child, know that you are surrounded by people that love you and care about you. Family is whatever your definition of it needs to be. I invite you to explore the concept of healing your inner child, and finding peace for yourself. Your health will thank you.