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Good Luck, 4th Years!

Posted Apr 09 2009 7:16pm

Best of luck to all the 4th year medical students out there, like our very own Mudphudder, who find out where they matched for residency tomorrow.  I spent my evening calling and emailing my list of friends in the match; my husband invited a friend of his from elementary school who is now a 4th year here at our university over for lunch and video games to help take his mind off of the big day tomorrow.  It’s quite nerve-wracking that so many years of your life are determined by what is written on a slip of paper, which everyone opens simultaneously across the country at noon (EST)… so drop by and wish Mudphudder good luck!

IMG_1741 Husband’s friend tries to use window light to read through his envelope… with no success

It’s hard to believe that it has been only a year since Husband matched, and how our thoughts have completely reversed.  As much as I knew going into it that he would likely not match in D.C. (he didn’t think he had a good shot to match in programs in the D.C. area because they were too competitive, so he did not rank them at the top), opening the envelope and seeing with 100% certainty that he would be moving away for sure was still so disappointing, and it was really challenging for me to see him so happy and call everyone and talk about how thrilled he was to be moving back to Philadelphia and how he couldn’t wait to move “home” to be with his “family” – I kind of wanted to punch him in the face and point out that while we may not be blood related, you really can’t get much more FAMILY than your wife, and moving to Philadelphia means he was moving AWAY from the person who was legally defined as his most immediate family member.  But I also understood that for him, it was exciting to be moving on from medical school and furthering his career and that the long-distance marriage was the furthest thing from his mind, so I kept my mouth shut and plastered on a fake smile for the day.

Husband & Julie, post envelope-opening (Husband has genuine smile and happiness… Julie does not)

But, because I faced what was coming, I have also very much come to terms with the fact that in two months, he will be moving away.  And you know what?  It’s okay.  Yes, it will be hard.  With our schedules and working weekends, it’s not going to be the type of long-distance marriage where we can see each other every weekend – our goal is one weekend a month… and that’s not a lot, but over the past nine months, I’ve had plenty of time to prepare.  Husband, on the other hand, was so focused on how much he hated his intern year and couldn’t wait to start his actual residency and move “home” that he seemed to totally forget that I wouldn’t be going with him.  One day, out of the blue, it was like it just hit him, and he broke down in tears, and now the tune has changed to one of not wanting June to come, because it means he has to leave.  Sadly, he is learning that in life, you cannot always have your cake, and eat it too.

What a difference a year makes.

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