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Dream A Little Dream

Posted Apr 09 2009 7:15pm

Two nights ago, I had this dream.

Squiggle fade to dream sequence.

Scene: Me and Patrick, asleep in our bed. Like we actually were.

PATRICK
(nudges Katie)
Are you okay? You were kind of moaning...

KATIE
Yeah, I think so... Hey, I think I'm in labor.

PATRICK
You are? How can you tell?

KATIE
(reaches down)
The baby's head is sticking out!

PATRICK
Wow!

KATIE
Reach down and grab him.

PATRICK
Okay. Give it a little push.

KATIE
(gives it a little push)

PATRICK
(holds up the baby)
Look! Here's the baby!

KATIE
Aw! Yay! Go find some scissors or something so we can cut the cord.

PATRICK
Okay, but I don't want to leave him.

KATIE
Well, take him with you.

PATRICK
(Walks away with the baby, trailing a 50 foot umbilical cord back to Katie that looks suspiciously like a bright orange outdoor extension cord)

KATIE
Put a diaper on him while you're up!

Later, when I actually woke up, I was devastated to find myself still pregnant. I then spent the entirety of yesterday trying to determine if I was, in fact, in labor. I had contractions, was nauseous, tried to survive as my body emptied itself of everything it could. I debated calling my mother and making her drive the 4 hours to me just to get me a cold washcloth for my forehead and tell me if I was in labor or not. I read tons of articles on the internet trying to determine if the pain I was feeling was actual labor pain and not just... not-labor pain (whatever - this stuff is so ambiguous it's disgusting), but couldn't come up with an actual answer until it finally went away last night. At that point I decided that I was not actually in labor - and that made me really angry. Today has been much better, helped by a long lunch over yummy Indian food with an old friend. Still, I would have preferred the dream been real - much easier that way.
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