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Diary of a Doctor’s Wife, Episode 005

Posted Apr 15 2009 12:36am

I certainly cannot attests for all marriages, but ours seems to be one based on double-standards of doctoring. The frustrating double-standard of the moment deal with the Rules of Sickness.

The Rules of Sickness are as follows:

  1. When Julie is sick, she must sleep on the couch and avoid the bedroom at all costs, as not to infect Husband with germs, because he is a Doctor and is therefore Very Important and Saves Lives, and cannot afford to get sick.
  2. No matter how sick Julie is feeling, she is still expected to cook dinner for Husband, because he is a Doctor and therefore works Very Hard at Saving Lives, and comes home hungry and tired and needs to replenish his energy.
  3. When Husband is sick, he still gets to sleep in the bed, because he is a Doctor and works Very Hard and needs a Good Night’s Sleep and therefore should never have to sleep on the couch.

As a result of these rules, 9 times out of 10, when I am sick, it does not spread to Husband (fortunately for him), and 9 times out of 10 when he is sick, it does spread to me (unfortunately for me).

At this point, if you are like my parents, my mother-in-law, my labmates, or any of my friends, you might be thinking to yourself, “Well, at least your husband is a doctor; surely, when you are sick, it is useful to have a doctor to take care of you!”

Rule #4: Husband is a Doctor and works Very Hard all day taking care of Real Patients in the hospital and therefore has No Patience to come home and take care of Wife-Patient.

So, in other words, being married to a doctor makes me more likely to catch whatever germs he brings home from the hospital, and less likely to have someone who remotely cares that I have become sick. It’s totally a win-win situation.

And, in other humorous news, I’ve gone from raspy nails-on-a-chalkboard voice to no voice at all. And today, my PI asked me to call around and get price quotes on both a fluorescent plate reader and an ultrasonic bath. At the end of the day when I hadn’t done it, he was obviously quite visibly annoyed. Er, I have no voice – am I supposed to try to set up an iChat session with our Fisher representative and mime out “ultrasonic bath”?! Come to think of it, I was always pretty good at Charades…

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