The time has come. Just a few days shy of the Bean hitting the 5 month mark, I am going back to work. Where did 6 months go? Now I'm starting to regret being off for nearly a month before I gave birth. I guess in hindsight it's easy to forget how brutal those last few weeks were-- working on my feet, sleepless nights spent trying to get comfortable, heartburn that made me vomit, hip pain that made walking near impossible... oh right, THAT is why I went off work at 37 weeks. And it's not like I had any control over the fact that he was nearly two weeks late. But now I'm wishing that I had that extra month with him. The weather is getting nicer, he's getting more and more fun by the day, and I know damn well that keeping up breastfeeding after I head back is going to be more than a little challenging as I came to realize during my ATLS weekend .
Not all of me is dreading it. I'm quite comfortable leaving Bean in the care of his very competent father. We won't have to start thinking about daycare for quite some time. We have a posse of very willing babysitters (my inlaws) living 90 minutes away who are more than happy to fill in when conflicts arise. Since Mr. Couz will still be working part-time when I go back, they are a Godsend.
My first rotation back is ortho/plastics outpatient clinics. Lots of fractures, lots of minor procedures. I'd better bone up on my MSK anatomy this weekend so that I don't look like too much of a tool.
I've missed work. So much of my identity is tied up in my job that I've really started to feel at loose ends as I've emerged from my post-birth haze. I've missed the challenges of the emergency room, and feel myself falling behind my colleagues when it comes to my knowledge. Even more odd is the fact that thanks to the delay of my maternity leave, I won't be finishing my residency until December. The emergency department where I'm training has already committed to hire two of my co-residents. Technically, they'll be my staff after July 1st. Weird. I just feel like my life stopped and everyone else's went on, and now I'm running to catch up.
Even weirder will be trying to explain to the testosterone-y world of orthopedic surgeons that I need to disappear at lunchtime to spend some quality time with a breast pump. Heh. That will be fun.