So any of y'all who know me know I can be extremely opinionated. And you also know that I have huge respect for anybody who can express thoughts intelligently and eloquently. So it should come as no surprise that I've become an avid fan of
Voodoo Medicine Man and his blog. He tells it like it is, but he does so with the eloquence of
Ambulance Driver or
Sid Schwab, which makes his blog a wonderful read. 'Course, it doesn't hurt that a large number of his opinions mirror my own. Check out a couple of my recent favorites:
Entitlement ZonesWhat Would Darwin Do Now then. Here, a giggle or two.
This one in particular cracks me up - we were in Wal-Mart a few weeks ago and saw a folder in the office supplies section, bearing this sentiment:
And I found these little gems while looking for a picture of said folder. I think I'm gonna become a Chuck Norris fan, just for sport:
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
A few random thoughts:
There are few things sadder than parents who enable deplorable behavior, no matter how old the kid. Ma'am, your son is a loser, and you're just allowing him to keep being a bigger loser every day.
Have you seen the commercial for the "Listen Up" hearing device? It kills me. It's basically a personal sound amplifier, but in the course of the commercial you get to see people being profoundly rude to their significant others, purposely eavesdropping on their neighbors, all sorts of stuff. It's like one of those books from when you were little about how not to behave. Jeez.
And speaking of commercials. There's something called Extenze, which I dunno if it's a pill or a cream or what-the-eff-ever - but according to the commercial it "increases the size of
that certain part of the male anatomy." Hmmm, what part do you speak of? Feet? Nose? Jesus, people, just come right out and say it. Over and over, that phrase repeated, and it just seems retarded beyond belief.
It's getting to be Halloween time, and I'm excited to decorate the abode accordingly... will post pictures when that's accomplished.
I'm tired. These past few days have kicked my butt, and I'm openly whining. My back hurts. My neck hurts. My heart hurts. My breath smells bad. My feet smell worse. My eyes are scratchy. Did I mention my back hurts?
Who wants to contribute to the massage fund??
Entitlement Zones
What Would Darwin Do
Now then. Here, a giggle or two.
This one in particular cracks me up - we were in Wal-Mart a few weeks ago and saw a folder in the office supplies section, bearing this sentiment:
And I found these little gems while looking for a picture of said folder. I think I'm gonna become a Chuck Norris fan, just for sport:
A few random thoughts:
There are few things sadder than parents who enable deplorable behavior, no matter how old the kid. Ma'am, your son is a loser, and you're just allowing him to keep being a bigger loser every day.
Have you seen the commercial for the "Listen Up" hearing device? It kills me. It's basically a personal sound amplifier, but in the course of the commercial you get to see people being profoundly rude to their significant others, purposely eavesdropping on their neighbors, all sorts of stuff. It's like one of those books from when you were little about how not to behave. Jeez.
And speaking of commercials. There's something called Extenze, which I dunno if it's a pill or a cream or what-the-eff-ever - but according to the commercial it "increases the size of that certain part of the male anatomy." Hmmm, what part do you speak of? Feet? Nose? Jesus, people, just come right out and say it. Over and over, that phrase repeated, and it just seems retarded beyond belief.
It's getting to be Halloween time, and I'm excited to decorate the abode accordingly... will post pictures when that's accomplished.
I'm tired. These past few days have kicked my butt, and I'm openly whining. My back hurts. My neck hurts. My heart hurts. My breath smells bad. My feet smell worse. My eyes are scratchy. Did I mention my back hurts?
Who wants to contribute to the massage fund??