I want you to know that in my wildest dreams I would never be able to say this while staring directly into those beautifully bright hazel eyes of yours, but I must compose it or risk further and continual psychological trauma due to your ignorance of my adoration.
Everyone within earshot of my annoying comments knows I despise every aspect of Dialysis. It is barbaric, humiliating and downright detrimental to a normal life.
But on Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings at roughly 6:15 the best part of my day comes to fruition.
You're usually three to four chairs away and I don't in any way want to make you feel self-conscious.
So in the most subtle way I know possible, I steal a glance three days a week. They are momentary and no where near as long as I desire, but they are burned into my memory for another forty-eight hours.
Did I mention how beautiful I think you are?
Short highlighted blonde hair cascading over milky skin adorned with full, luscious lips and pools of hazel eyes.
Occasionally our chairs are lined up perfectly along the windowed wall and I'm afforded a bonus view.
Every so often you realize you're being watched and catch me in the act.
For a moment my eyes dart away, embarrassed by being caught. But that slowly slips away leaving nothing but an internal knowing smile. There IS a ray of appreciation in this otherwise dreary place and it's coming from me.
We spoke on your first treatment day as one of the nurses introduced us. Our conversation was all about Dialysis, but I was instantly hooked. Since then, I tried to say hi every time I passed, but you usually placed your hand over your face so you wouldn't have to deal with that Creepy Stacy Guy.
I understand completely. Who wants to be flirted with in this God forsaken place?
You also did speak to me one night after treatment, acknowledging how much you liked my bike.
In my Stacy Fantasy World (rated PG-13) I'd ask if you'd like to go for a ride and you'd say yes. We'd ride off to Adel's downtown and have a pleasant meal and get to know one another.
After that, we'd be inseparable.
But that is never to be.
So until you receive a transplant and are released from this hellish purgatory, I promise to be as subtle as possible with my glances and appreciate your from afar.
I was born Girl Crazy and you just happen to be my latest infatuation.