We have some friends who like to throw lavish parties. I'm not really the party type myself, but hey, if somebody else is in charge, I'm there.
Last week, they did their ultimate summer bash, the famous Slip 'n Slide party. Basically, they set up a giant slip and slide in their back yard, turn on 6 sprinklers or so, and let everybody have at it. Kids, of course, go down that slide about a thousand times, but some adults get in the act, too.
My hubby and I weren't about to let all the kids have the fun, so we slipped and slid (slided?) to our hearts content, laughing and trying to make it to the very end of the slide without stopping. DH even tossed our baby down the slide, just to see how she'd take it.
Yeah, she was not amused.
All this slipping and sliding is done in sort of an out of control manner, and it works best if you run down the top of the slide at top speed, and then sort of throw yourself down on your stomach once you've got some momentum. Of course, you sometimes just sort of slip to your knees, or your bum, or kind of in between the two. Good times, I tell you. Good times.
I was having fun flailing all about, and then I stood up after a particularly crazy run, and felt a deep pain in my side.
It suddenly occurred to me that my nephrologist had recommended that I stay away from contact sports, or doing anything that might hurt my very enlarged kidneys.
I'm guessing that throwing myself down a slip'n'slide is not on my doctor's approved activities list.
I woke up the next morning sore all over, from my hamstrings to my deltoids, but my abdominal region was especially sore. Clearly my underworked abs got a serious workout slipping down that slide, but it was more than that. My right kidney was enlarged, and tender to the touch. And I looked sort of lopsided in my bathing suit. I said to my sister that maybe it was nothing--maybe I'm just getting fat.
"Does FAT hurt to touch?" she said.
Ok, she had a point.
It took almost a week to feel better again, and even now, it still hurts if I poke it in just the right spot. It's a reminder of a few things: 1) How totally and completely screwed up my insides are (seriously, normal people do not poke at their bellies to feel their kidneys) and 2) how I have to keep things in check, because I'm not like everybody else. And I hate that more than all the pain.