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Posted Oct 11 2012 9:56am
It's making me cry.

Not the actual parenting of my children (although that sometimes makes me cry, too, and folks, it doesn't get easier, just higher stakes with better sleep).  The TV show.

My husband hates the show.  We watched the first season together, and he can't handle the talking over each other dialogue thing they have going on.  It didn't catch me at first, either, but I am a die hard Gilmore Girls fan, and I kept watching it partly (mostly) out of loyalty to Lauren Graham.

 (Exactly why I feel loyal to a woman I have never met, I'll never know.  Plus, if I'm being honest, I really just feel loyal to Loreli, the woman she played on Gilmore Girls, not the actress who played Loreli, which means I'm loyal to a woman who doesn't actually exist.)

(TV is weird.)

Anyway, I've halfheartedly stuck it out, but got hooked again on the adoption story.  (This post is going to be full of spoilers, so if you care at all about this show, go find it on hulu, watch it, and come back.)  I had recently engaged in an ongoing conversation with a friend who, come to find out, relinquished her daughter to adoption 20 years ago.  I had never heard an adoption story from the side of the birth mother--she's a voice that all too often gets lost.  My friend still aches for the child she lost 20 years ago, and is finally finding her voice to condemn some of the more yucky parts of adoption, so watching an adoption story unfold on television while my friend was in the middle of her own adoption crusade was interesting.  I kept watching, wondering what my friend would think of the whole plotline.  And of course, like any series that wants to survive, they ended the season on a cliffhanger, which made me eagerly anticipate this season, again, to see how the adoption line played out.

And then came the cancer.

One of the main characters, a mother with 3 kids, gets cancer.  It's devastating, naturally, and the way they played it could not have been more maudlin or sappy or trite or predictable.

It made me bawl my eyes out.

Then the next episode was all about how she and her husband start the road of treatment, how they have to make hard and fast decisions, how they deal with each other and I cried through the whole thing.

(plus, that lady in the blue turban scarf thingie is from Gilmore Girls, too, so maybe there is some kind of tv loyalty karma goin' on)

My husband asked me why I was so emotional about it.  After all, I don't have cancer, my mother doesn't have cancer, nobody immediately close to me has cancer.  But I told him, "This is exactly what it feels like to have the rug ripped out from under you.  They are nailing it."

When I got diagnosed with PKD, I thought I was okay.  I was sort of initially prepared for something scarier---cancer, even, and when the tech who did my initial back MRI told me her thoughts (against all rules, and against her better judgement, but I was hounding her for why she kept me in the machine 15 minutes longer than she told me she was going to), I immediately thought, "I don't have that.  I've never heard of that. You must be wrong."  I talked to my family, and everybody said you can't trust what a tech says, because they don't know what they are talking about.  But when my doctor called at 7:30 the next morning, that tech's guess was confirmed.

I spent the morning googling PKD.  I'm here to tell you, Google is an awesome tool, but this is what happens when you use it for medical advice
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