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Married patients who feel as though they are burdens on thier spouses

Posted Feb 24 2011 7:48am

I am 25 years old and married. I have been married for well it will be 7 years this march. I was diagnosed with my kidney disease when I was 18 that same year I got married to my best friend and found out I was preganat with our first son. At the time my doctor didn't know much about the rare disease and there for couldn't tell me much. So I in turn sought out and researched it for myself. When I got diagnosed I became extremely depressed because I found out there was no cure for my disease and that unless I have a transplant I would die. I also became extremely sick due to my pregnancy. At the time we didn't know that I wasn't suppose to have kids because of the strain on my kidneys. I wasn't able to cook, clean, or even take care of our new born son. My husband who had a great job would have to come home from work and take care of me, the house, and our son. That was back in 2004. Shortly after approxametly 4 months later I became pregnant with our daughter. At that time I became aware of the high risks and there for they refered me to a specialist, but again I became severly sick and by that time my husband had lost his job, had to take care of me, the house, and our son. That was back in 2005. I had our daughter a month premature and couldn't do anything so we decided to move out of our appartment and into his mother's house so she could lighten some of the  physical stress. Then in 2009 we got pregnant with our second son and the stress of the 2 previous pregnancys on my kidney's was just to much and I ended up in the hospital due to my kidney's going into shock. I was in the hospital for 2 weeks. My husband had no job, had to take care of everything, and plus I was in the hospital dying. I got out the hospital, but the damage had been done the doctors informed me that I was on strict bedrest. I couldn't even get out of bed to go to the bathroom. So we packed up our things and moved to Mississippi to be closer to my family so that they could be able to help us. After I had my son in August of 2009 I was imediatly placed on peritineal dialysis. I have my good days and bad days of course, but as of lately i've been having more bad than good. My husband can't work because I need help taking care of our 3 kids and the meds they have me on make me sleep alot. I have heart problems know called tacacardia which means that at any givien time my blood presure could drop so low that without warning I pass out and have seazures. I can't afford a nurse cause I don't qualifiy. So there fore my husband is taking care of everything. He has cheated on me and I feel as though it is my fault. He says thats its not, but I can't help feeling like if I was healthy and able bodied I could cook, clean, and take care of the kids. He never really complains or tells me that I am a burden, but I cant help feeling like he just doesn't want to hurt me. He has been by my side since the begining. I don't know what to do. I feel like this is ruining my marriage and I might get a divorce over this. I need help any suggestions???

 

signed The Burdened Wife

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