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I guess they can't hear the people in my head

Posted Apr 01 2009 11:19pm
In church, we have a "good news minute". That's the time where anybody who has good news can quickly shout it out and share.

I almost never share any good news. I have many reasons for this, not the least of which is because I doubt "Hey, I got my pantry organized. GO ME!" is anybody's idea of good news. And I don't like to monopolize the time. I've been told in the past that I talk too much, so I lately I have tried to tone it down. To not talk about myself so much. To be the type of person where people say, "Wow, you're a really good listener."

That's not something I hear very often. Talker, yes. I'm amazing. I can talk your ear off. Listening is something I need to really work on.

But I participated in the good news minute when I got accepted into the HALT PKD study. I felt it was good news, and it was bigger than just having found the perfect cleaning product that gets grease off my microwave. And I was surprised when, not long thereafter, I got an email from a friend who expressed her deep concern about my health, not having known that I have a life threatening genetic disease that makes my kidneys look like moldy footballs.

Not long after that, I was chatting with a friend about healthcare. Her husband and my husband have the same employer, and we were comparing health plans and talking costs and FSA (whatever they are--is that a real thing?)and I mentioned offhand that we pay out of pocket quite a bit each year with all my appointments, and that it's ridiculous that I have a $35 co-pay to see my nephrologist.

She gave me a weird look and said, "Why are you going to the nephro whatever so much? What are your issues?"

I was genuinely surprised she didn't know. I told her about my PKD. She said, "I didn't know you had a kidney disease. You've never talked about it before."

I haven't? Really? I THINK about it all the time--how can I not be TALKING about it all the time?

So I guess it's good that I'm not talking about it as much as I'm thinking about it.

It could also mean that I think I'm talking about it because I'm answering some crazy voices in my head and not actually communicating with real people ever.

Yeah, that can't be good.
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