Yesterday I went for three investigations. A 2D Echo cardiogram, an ultrasound of the abdomen and a liver scan. The first two were fairly straightforward. The third was a funny experience.
I walked in to the place they do the scan. There was one guy behind the reception and one bald, obese guy slouching on a couch watching television. The set-up wasn't too promising. After paying the amount for the test, I was ushered into a room where they did the scan and I was asked to wait in the main hall where the fat guy watched TV.
He was on the phone with someone. I overheard him say, "Tell him there is a construction project I can get him worth 10 cr. Quality has to be good. I got other such projects as well but they did not do it well so I am looking for someone else."
"He might have to pay some charges to the person who is helping to get this project. All that we will finalize."
I could say for sure that this guy is the one who is going to take those 'charges'! I was also sure that there was no other project which he has got and given to others. It all seemed like the white lies business people say. Everyone knows they are lying but they will still use them.
Once he got done with his call, he turned his attention to my prescription for the test. He started asking me questions. "Why are you getting this test done? What is the problem?"
He seemed to be a doctor of some kind. He knew the jargon. He asked me why a nephrologist had prescribed the test. I said I am a dialysis patient and have been on dialysis for 16 years."
And then came the inevitable set of questions.
"How much is your creatinine?"
Never mind that creatinine after 16 years of dialysis HAS NO FUCKING SIGNIFICANCE!
I hadn't even measured it in ages. But I could see that there was no point in explaining this to him. I muttered an arbitrary number.
"How many times do you do dialysis?"
"Six night a week, seven hours each night."
He raised his eyebrows and I could almost hear him think, "Oh! that bad huh!" I am sure he thought that this guy is in such bad shape he needs dialysis daily! I had no patience to start explaining to him the benefits of daily dialysis. He was still slouching on his couch and if he continued that way for ANOTHER DAY, he might need dialysis soon!
When the report came, he was surprised. He upbraided the technician and said we should repeat the test. He made me go back into the room and supervised the tech while he did the test again. The report was the same.
"You have a healthy liver!" he concluded. He said he expected it to be worse but this is like 'totally healthy'. He seemed disappointed!
"Thank you" I exclaimed, took the report and got out of there!