Yesterday after completing my stuff for the day, I was so exhausted. I really did not feel like dialysing. The problem however was my fluid gain was quite a lot. I generally put on more fluid weight on holidays. So, despite being totally tired, I had to get on to dialysis.
This is happening a lot lately. Putting in a full day's work after traveling quite a distance to my workplace and then getting back in the mind-numbing traffic can take its toll. And then, when I am tired and itching to get to bed and get some rest, I have to prepare for my dialysis. I have to prime the lines and start dialysis myself. There is a tech but he comes very late and I really don't have the willingness to wait for him to come and start. I want to get it done with and go to sleep.
However optimal your dialysis regimen is, you do get tired of it after a point. Especially when you do it on your own. So, you have a nice little contradiction there. If you want good dialysis, you have to do it on your own. And if you do it on your own, you are bound to get tired of it after a while. On the other hand, if you don't do it on your own, it is difficult to get optimal dialysis.
This brings me back to seriously considering a second transplant.