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The Agony of Victory

Posted Aug 07 2009 12:07pm

Photo by Matt King

What has caused the recent rush to go so big? Waterfall records have been dropping as unemployment rates increase. Coincidence? No. Historically crime rates have increased in direct proportion to unemplyoment. People get depressed and anxious when basic biological drives such as physical work and productivity cannot be accomplished. Risks are taken, the sense of fulfillment pursued at nearly any cost. I was raised on a farm and now work in an office. As a youth my R2 partner Dan was unleashed to explore Montana, now he works in a lab all day and studies all night. We have jobs but our physical and emotional freedoms have been shackled.

Such is the plight of the "Alpha" personality in modern society. With no lions to kill, mountains to climb, or other pursuits which trigger the survivalistic instinct we live opressed lives. The anxiety builds, records get shattered, and the Alpha sleeps okay for a few nights until the beast of technology faciltates another challenge. My heart is appeased after banging in the cage. The drive home is tranquil after throwing down with another combatant who is strong in spirit yet weak in coping skills. Following the battle we respect each other and more importantly ourselves for surviving. The self concept is the core of our adaptability.

At 40 years of age my body cant take the hits it used to. Celestial Falls dropped me from it's heaven into the bowels of mortality. The intense pain of a 4 hour dislocated hip hammered home the message that I need to grow up. The volunteer rescue workers that left their farms in the Tygh Valley to help me out were the real heroes. These men looked me in the eye as my clammy hands held on to their warm arms. They were giving and I was taking.

I want to wake up with nothing but love and be happy.
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