Health knowledge made personal

Jack S.

I'm a 40-year-old man who suffers from depression. I started this blog to share my experiences in hopes that it might help others. It helps me to share, too.
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One year later by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression “In quietness and confidence is your strength.” (Isaiah 30:15) The person who found me read that scripture hours before driving to my house with her husband. The ... Read on »
My thoughts on suicide by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression  If I owned a gun, I might be dead. That’s how much pain I was in about this time a year ago. In just a few weeks it will have been one year since I tried to kill ... Read on »
Hope isn't dangerous; it's all some have by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression I sat down just now to bang out a blog on fear. I planned to trot out quotes from FDR, the 23rd Psalm and my own harrowing experiences in dark places with no way to get ou ... Read on »
The thief who steals precious time by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression As I watched foamy white fingers dance across the dark green waves at the beach recently, all I could think about was time. It’s the one thing we all share. It’s ... Read on »
The maddening pursuit of normalcy by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression I don’t know what good looks like. I don’t know what normal feels like, either. Finding a “new norm” is one of the challenges facing the mentally ill on their journey ... Read on »
Finding liberation from the pain of secrets by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression I’ve shared a lot here about the pain countless people have suffered at the hands of a cruel disease. I’ve also shared how my recovery really began when I decided ... Read on »
Life is the best gift of all by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression I turn 43 on Sunday. This birthday is more special than any other except one I can’t remember. April 6, 1971. I’ve shed a few soft tears, tears of joy and thanksgiving ... Read on »
Friends potent medicine against mental illness by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression A single twig breaks, but a bundle of twigs is strong-Tecumseh A little black book bound in leather sits on my bedside table.  In it are dozens of handwritten quote ... Read on »
Mental illness hurts loved ones, too by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression I was sifting through banal emails at work, deleting junk in my inbox. Then one from my wife caught my eye. The subject line read “Your submission to teen ink.”  ... Read on »
Your time will come by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression You plunged a knife deep into my chest and cut out my heart. You drained the energy from my being. You whispered your lies into my ear, and I could not rest. You ... Read on »
Life inside an anxious mind by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression It’s just a meeting and it’s a week away. It’s not real hard. There’s no reason to be anxious. What if everybody hates my idea? I know Fred won’t like my idea. He ... Read on »
Saving Grace by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression The essay below was written by my 14-year-old daughter. She didn't tell me she'd written it, or that she submitted it to teenink.com, a website that selects and features the ... Read on »
Why I'm on shaky ground by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression It’s a good thing I am not a brain surgeon. I would get sued every day. I would probably maim or kill my patients. If I were any kind of doctor, or toy assembler or ... Read on »
Rejoicing in our suffering by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression By Jack Smith Before I left my home for Houston and treatment, my 14-year-old daughter wrote me a letter. I folded it and placed it in my Bible. I slid it out of my Bible ... Read on »
Tick, tock toward more hopeful New Year by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression The antebellum house where I grew up was never really quiet. Cars swished by and trucks roared past as they traveled our busy road night and day. There was the usual hust ... Read on »
Why are the holidays so hard? by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression By Jack Smith Some say the holidays are hard because we expect too much. We hope for Norman Rockwell and end up with Clark Griswold. We cook too much. We clean too muc ... Read on »
Relapse really is part of recovery by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression By Jack Smith My doctor told me two things the day I left The Menninger Clinic: I may never outgrow bipolar disorder, and relapse is often part of recovery. My first s ... Read on »
Thanksgiving was his favorite holiday by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression By Jack Smith Thanksgiving was my father's favorite holiday. It may have been his favorite day of the year. He would rise early, whistling with gusto and singing ... Read on »
CPAP mask makes for restless nights, so far by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression By Jack Smith Imagine you are dressed up as Darth Vader for Halloween.  Only your mask is too small, it fogs up when you breathe,  your lips are chapped and you are claus ... Read on »
Manic patients aren't mad, just different by Jack S. Posted in: Blog Posts in Depression By Jack Smith With a presentation to 50 people a few hours away, I had more energy than a cocaine user on his highest high. Only it was 4:00 a.m. and I had not yet slept. ... Read on »