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Posted Dec 06 2012 6:00am
Mondays view.

So the trip to Cozumel was rough and the race was rough but now I was on vacation and surely that would be easy....right?

Monday was good.  There was plenty of sunshine and I spent a good part of the day sitting in a chair on the beach.

The beach at the resort (Iberostar)

Courtney and I on the beach.

I used a lot of sunblock, but still got burned on race day...

My sunburn.  My neck is torn up from my swimskin. 

My neck from my swimskin.

Tuesday and Wednesday were rainy days.  We wanted to go snorkeling and kayaking but ended up doing a lot of reading instead.  Very disappointing...

Rainy day.

Then came Thursday.  The sun returned and it was a nice day, or so I'm told.  I was in the hotel room with food poisoning.

Food poisoning has to be the worst form of illness.  I must have vomited 50 times.  It was unreal.  I spent about 6 straight hours in the bathroom.  You do learn a few things when you have food poisoning though...

1. Chocolate ice cream tastes the same going down as it does coming up.
2. There are times in life when death is very appealing.
3. You know your vacation has gone to hell when you find yourself with your face buried in a toilet begging for diarrhea. 

"I need a favor."
"I need you to kill me."
"I'm not going to kill you."
"Yes.  I'm ready."

Despite my requests, Courtney decided to spend the day on the beach instead of bludgeoning me to death.

After about 3 hours in the bathroom vomiting I found myself begging the gods of food poisoning for diarrhea.  Pleaaaaaase....let's change gears and empty the bottom half of my system.  That has to be better than this. 

But the gods of food poisoning misunderstood my request.  " want diarrhea too?  Done."  

Not in addition.  Instead.  

Now I found myself in the bathroom taking inventory of my resources.  I have a toilet, an ice bucket, a waste basket and a shower.  I can make this work.

Six hours after it started, I vomited up a little bit of blood and thought that had to be the end.  There isn't anything left.

And that was it.  It was 3 pm and I crawled into bed and fell asleep.  If I stayed still, I was comfortable.  If I moved, I got goosebumps and started shivering.  Still better than my 6 hours in the bathroom.  I stayed in bed until Friday morning when I felt good enough to eat a very small breakfast.  Then we had to check out and head to the airport.

Our flight left early.  It's the first flight I've ever been on that left early.  

Message received, Mexico.  You don't want me.

We made it home at 11 pm to a pile of cat puke on the bed.  Welcome home.  

The culprit....Calvin.

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