I woke up this morning, feeling a little better but still not 100%. With all the comments and emails about me getting my ass to the doctors I decided to go. I got the last open appointment with my family doctor, at the end of the day.
During the day I was feeling a little better, not having a night in the P & W and a good night sleep probably helped too. I was definitely less stressed, although as of writing this post, I dealt with sending and receiving 591 emails today, and lots of phone conversations. Lots of good stuff on the go, we set some records yesterday for web traffic, new customers and are ahead of targets. LOTS of extremely positive things happening.
I didn't feel good enough to train today. I wanted to be safe, "I need to get my shit together" and at times I felt my heart pounding. I felt being responsible about it was prudent. I may not have trained, but was very conscious of the food I'm putting in my mouth and think a day of not over eating and eating healthy is as good as a day of training. Doing both is a home run day. It's coming.
When I got to the doctors office it was near empty, even though they have 5 doctors and about 30 waiting room chairs, there was just me and one other person. Even the parking lot was a ghost town.
It took a while for the doctor to get to me and as I waited in his office I was tired. I could have feel asleep in the chair, for moments I had my eyes closest.
My doctor is a younger guy, in his 30's. He asked how I felt, I said "not good". I explained to him that I'm not feeling well and I'm not sure if it's effects of blood clots, lifestyle, stress or what. I have so many variables, I don't know if it's one or all, or real or phantom. I told him about my cold finger, which I had again today and he was perplexed with that one.
He asked me if I'm self conscious about my blood clots and if it was effecting me personally. I said, "absolutely it's bothering me, big time. I told him every time I have a twitch or a breathing issue during a long run or anything, I get paranoid and think the blood clots are floating around and I'm a dead man and I'd be surprised if I live one more year". I also told him that I'm now ready "to get my shit together. Alice told me I need to get my shit together and I agreed".
I also told him work was stressful, but I've handled work stress my whole life. So I'm not so sure how much effect that is having.
He asked me that if we did another CT Scan and it proved that I no longer had the clots in my lungs would I feel better. I said "absolutely, I'd love to know that, it's would definitely put my mind at rest". Right now I feel like a ticking time bomb.
I also told him that I'm prepared to wear the mobile EKG devise he suggested possibly wearing at our previous meeting. He thought that I might have too low of a heart rate and not having blood pump hard enough. At first I shut him down, because I was stupid and didn't want the hassle, now I told him I've reconsidered and am prepared to do that. He's also setting up a meeting for me to visit a cardiologist to get check out and be safe.
Finally I went through the concerns that Mark Allen raised about low testosterone, hormone imbalances, cortisol issues and all the rest of the stuff. I actually printed out his email and read it to him. I've now finally got an appointment with a hematologists, the earliest appointment was in April and they told me to expect a 3 hour wait in the doctors office. Unbelievable. Talk about never having to market for customers. I thought they just take blood work and do a check, I guess it's more than that, they do some sort of a day evaluation, reviewing lifestyle etc.
During the conversation I told him I cancelled Ironman New Zealand and he thought that was probably a good thing, especially being in the air for 30 hours. Then we got into personal talk and he asked me what I thought of Lance Armstrong and I let him know how much I've been slamming Lance and even was blocked from his twitter account. He got me going, big time. He told me he wouldn't want to get on my bad side. I told him I figure Lance was still pulling his drugging ways when he got back into triathlons, his results were too good for the amount of racing he did in such a short period and he kept getting faster each race, whereas other pros who did the same races were breaking down. It's not natural to get better.
Tonight was watch TV and pass out into a sleep that you can't open your eyes if you wanted to. Recovery sleep I guess.
Anyways, I went to the doctor. Thanks for the pushing. You know who you are.
During the day I was feeling a little better, not having a night in the P & W and a good night sleep probably helped too. I was definitely less stressed, although as of writing this post, I dealt with sending and receiving 591 emails today, and lots of phone conversations. Lots of good stuff on the go, we set some records yesterday for web traffic, new customers and are ahead of targets. LOTS of extremely positive things happening.
I didn't feel good enough to train today. I wanted to be safe, "I need to get my shit together" and at times I felt my heart pounding. I felt being responsible about it was prudent. I may not have trained, but was very conscious of the food I'm putting in my mouth and think a day of not over eating and eating healthy is as good as a day of training. Doing both is a home run day. It's coming.
When I got to the doctors office it was near empty, even though they have 5 doctors and about 30 waiting room chairs, there was just me and one other person. Even the parking lot was a ghost town.
It took a while for the doctor to get to me and as I waited in his office I was tired. I could have feel asleep in the chair, for moments I had my eyes closest.
My doctor is a younger guy, in his 30's. He asked how I felt, I said "not good". I explained to him that I'm not feeling well and I'm not sure if it's effects of blood clots, lifestyle, stress or what. I have so many variables, I don't know if it's one or all, or real or phantom. I told him about my cold finger, which I had again today and he was perplexed with that one.
He asked me if I'm self conscious about my blood clots and if it was effecting me personally. I said, "absolutely it's bothering me, big time. I told him every time I have a twitch or a breathing issue during a long run or anything, I get paranoid and think the blood clots are floating around and I'm a dead man and I'd be surprised if I live one more year". I also told him that I'm now ready "to get my shit together. Alice told me I need to get my shit together and I agreed".
I also told him work was stressful, but I've handled work stress my whole life. So I'm not so sure how much effect that is having.
He asked me that if we did another CT Scan and it proved that I no longer had the clots in my lungs would I feel better. I said "absolutely, I'd love to know that, it's would definitely put my mind at rest". Right now I feel like a ticking time bomb.
I also told him that I'm prepared to wear the mobile EKG devise he suggested possibly wearing at our previous meeting. He thought that I might have too low of a heart rate and not having blood pump hard enough. At first I shut him down, because I was stupid and didn't want the hassle, now I told him I've reconsidered and am prepared to do that. He's also setting up a meeting for me to visit a cardiologist to get check out and be safe.
Finally I went through the concerns that Mark Allen raised about low testosterone, hormone imbalances, cortisol issues and all the rest of the stuff. I actually printed out his email and read it to him. I've now finally got an appointment with a hematologists, the earliest appointment was in April and they told me to expect a 3 hour wait in the doctors office. Unbelievable. Talk about never having to market for customers. I thought they just take blood work and do a check, I guess it's more than that, they do some sort of a day evaluation, reviewing lifestyle etc.
During the conversation I told him I cancelled Ironman New Zealand and he thought that was probably a good thing, especially being in the air for 30 hours. Then we got into personal talk and he asked me what I thought of Lance Armstrong and I let him know how much I've been slamming Lance and even was blocked from his twitter account. He got me going, big time. He told me he wouldn't want to get on my bad side. I told him I figure Lance was still pulling his drugging ways when he got back into triathlons, his results were too good for the amount of racing he did in such a short period and he kept getting faster each race, whereas other pros who did the same races were breaking down. It's not natural to get better.
Tonight was watch TV and pass out into a sleep that you can't open your eyes if you wanted to. Recovery sleep I guess.
Anyways, I went to the doctor. Thanks for the pushing. You know who you are.