My heart has never been so broken or lonely since 10 years ago.
Posted Jan 20 2010 12:01am
10 years agoI lost someone I love – I mean really love. As I look back I realize how much my life has changed.
For those who know me real – real well. You know I travel with a teddy bear. I call her Leslieafter her original owner Leslie DeGarmo. I last saw Leslie in December of 1999. I can still close my eyes and see her leaning up against the wall Christmas Day. It would be the last day I was to see her alive. Just weeks beforewe were driving on our way to the malland well… I said to her“you know If I knew you’d say yesI’d ask you to marry me”. I remember it clear as day because even though there was a joking undertonethere was a lot of truth to it.
I fell completely in love with her. She was my best friendI’ve never used the word love as strongly as I do when I refer to her. Her smilelaugh – the things she use to say and the way she use to say it. I can still hear her voiceI see her eyesI feel her around me. Every time I go to her graveI feel the wind against my back as if she’s pushing me to leave and telling me to live my lifebut I touch her stonetrace out her name with my fingers and close my eyes to see herto hear her and wish she was still here.
SotodayI’ll take Leslie with me to workI’ll buckle her up so she’s safe in the car and spend another day wondering the what if’s but realizing that my little Angel is never far from my thoughtsalways on my mind and forever in my heart.
Leslietoday I miss you more than ever – it’s been 10 years and many things have happened in my lifebut just knowyou’ll always be my first loveI can never forget the moments we’ve shared – I am often lost without youI love you so muchand miss you so much. I think about your accidentI think about the pain you must have hadI truly do not understand why you had to go through itjust know you will always be lovedyou’ll always be missed and you’ll always be with me.