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Posted Dec 23 2008 3:55pm

So I'm sitting at DFW Airport on my way home to West Virginia (insert your favorite Country Roads lyric here) and I'm so nervous about telling my Momma, yes I still call her Momma, that I could be sick. I decided awhile ago that on this trip I would tell her and I'm sticking to that but it doesn't mean I can't be nervous about it, right? She took the gay thing much better than I ever anticipated, about as well as I could've hoped and was completely ready to meet my ex. Of course, that never happened and she's never heard me talk about another boy. I'll mention randomly a date or something about going to dinner with someone but she doesn't ask and I don't try and push it on her; I think once I'm with someone who I think I can take home then will be the time to repeat his name, to tell her all about the things we do as a couple and kind of push the subject back out into the open.
Trips home to West Virginia, where I spent the first 20 years and 10 months of my life always bring out a whole range of mixed emotions. I know it'll be great to see everyone, especially my Momma and to a much smaller degree my Dad and his family. But in a way it's the numerous cousins and friends I look forward to seeing more than anyone. They're the ones who already know how difficult this year has been and haven't missed a step keeping me upbeat and just being there when I need them. It's amazing how fast your schedule fills up when people know you're going to be home for only a few days. I land in Pittsburgh around 11:30 EST and have a two hour or so drive before I'm actually home, that is Carolina, WV. My Momma and I will be cooking all afternoon and then I'm off to Bridgeport Hill late tonight for karaoke and such with a smattering of cousins and friends. Tomorrow will be a very strange day, it's the first Christmas Eve ever that my Mom's family isn't having a big dinner and family gathering and I'm rather upset about that. Honestly, I never thought it would last as many years (2) as it did after Pappy (my Mom's dad) passed away but I'm still sad that this is a tradition no one is bothering to keep up with. I've already arranged with several cousins to attend Midnight Mass at the Church most of us grew up going to, the same Church I haven't stepped foot into since Pappy's Funeral Mass. I know that will be hard but I also know that's what he would want of us. It will likely also be my last Christmas Mass as a Confirmed Catholic since I'm likely being received into the Episcopal Church in early January. And for those unaware of the strict rigors on Catholicism those Confirmed in other denominations are welcome to attend mass but are not allowed to participate in the Sacraments, Communion specifically. I already broke this news to my Mom and she wasn't nearly as upset as I once expected her to be, though she did quit attending Church regularly sometime before I was born.

I hope everyone has a Happy, Joyous, Safe Christmas and I'll try and update after I've broken the news to my Momma and have gauged her reaction. Until then, I leave you with my favorite Christmas Hymnal...

O Come All Ye Faithful
Joyful and triumphant,
O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem.
Come and behold Him,
Born the King of Angels;
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord.

O Sing, choirs of angels,
Sing in exultation,
Sing all that hear in heaven God's holy word.
Give to our Father glory in the Highest;
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord.

All Hail! Lord, we greet Thee,
Born this happy morning,
O Jesus! for evermore be Thy name adored.
Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing;
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord.

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