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Silly questions deserve silly answers

Posted Oct 01 2008 8:56pm
I'm out to dinner with a friend. She orders a calamari appetizer. I am sipping on a glass of wine.

The server brings out the calamari. My friend says "I'd share with you but you can't eat this."

Server says, "Oh why can't you have any?"

Me: "I'm a vegan."

Server: Points to my wine. "But you killed all these grapes."

This is not the time to discuss the difference between sentient beings and fruits and vegetables, let alone the suffering of animals that factory farms cause or the health consequences of animal products. Our server could care less. So here's my response:

Me: "Can I tell you a secret?"

Server: "Sure...."

Me: "I hate fruit. I like to kill and stab fruit to death and then eat it. I hate vegetables too."

I got a few laughs after throwing him off with that response. Thoughts? How do any of you handle similar idiocy?
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