BUT. Got a call from my coordinator at Columbia this morning and I hear they may have a bed open up this evening “but if not definitely tomorrow morning” which realizes my nightmare —being in the hosp for an entire weekend!!! AAAAAHHHHH.
Not happy about this. This has had a big mental effect on me, the whole waiting game. Being in limbo, my bag packed , preparing mentally for the hospital, waiting for the call. This has anxiety attack written all over it and last night I finally cracked.
Something happened while I was trying to sleep. It was scary. I was definitely panicking, heart racing, disoriented, then I took something to help me sleep and it made me HALLUCINATE. I’m not talking fun hallucinations here people, I’m talking dark evil scary hallucinations that I thought were 100% real. I was freaked out and probably scary to be around. NO joke. Needless to say, those pills got flushed this am.
So, I am working on the fundrager to keep occupied. But I am exhausted so it may be nap time soon on the comfy couch.