For those of you who know me or read my blog on the regular, you know that I am in school. I am taking Basic Skills classes trying to obtain my diploma, hopefully by the end of October, which is when I am scheduled to take my test.
I am the only deaf student in my class. Recently, I've lost MORE of my ability to hear in my 'good' ear, my right ear. I am at that point where without my hearing aid in my 'good' ear, speech recognition is getting very, very hard. Last night, at Back to School Night for the youngest of the darling maggots, I had a terrible time understanding the teachers. Even one who played music for us (the music teacher)...I could not hear ANY of the music he played, that made me feel some type of way. So like I was saying, I am the only deaf/hard of hearing student in my class, let alone in the entire program.
So...I consulted the Deaf/Hard of Hearing program at the college. I have met in person and emailed with a woman there, who knowing my situation, gave me a ALD, Assisted Listening Device. Now I know these are great little devices, but mine sucks! In a class room setting it is horrible for me and I cannot hear a word my teachers are saying anymore. All I hear is a bunch of garbled weirdness. Is it me? Or is it the device? I'm thinking it is me.
Apparently, now I have a note taker in my class. Which is okay. But how can just a note taker capture everything that is going on in the class? The questions that come up from various student, basic chit chat, someone trying to get my attention and so on? What if the note taker misses something? And why did i HAVE to find my own note taker? The college should provide me with a interpreter or a note taker, how do I know how takes 'good notes' in my classes? I'm doing the best I can just to keep up visually with my teacher, let alone watching what everyone else is doing.
It is exhausting. When I come home at the end of the night. My eyes are tired, my head hurts and I'm frustrated. It is all I can do to flop myself on the bed out of frustration and fatigue. Who else feels this way? Are you so tired at the end of the day from 'watching' that you just want to close your eyes and shut the world out? Do you rip off your hearing aids and put them away, hoping to not have to wear them anymore?
Why do I have to do all the work at the school, shouldn't the Deaf/HOH program advisor be helping me? A blog friend of mine, referred me to a few people who are trying to help me possibly get a c-print for the class, since note taking may not be enough. I've been emailing with some wonderful people who are trying to help in this situation, to ease my troubles in the class and make life a bit easier for me. I'm very thankful to these people! You know who you are c:
Deafness is a funny thing. Sometimes I embrace it, sometimes I am frustrated by it. But, am I frustrated at my deafness or the fact that hearing people make communication difficult? Eh, I just don't know.