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Valerie, You have a foreign body in your foot!

Posted Nov 18 2008 12:19am

Well, the continuing drama of my left foot! I was told to call the doctor back yesterday to discuss my x-rays. I went to the Internet to my friendly neighborhood and called my doctor.
Val: I'm calling to check my x-rays!
Nurse: You have a foreign body in your foot!
Val: WTF, what do you mean?
Nurse: It is about 2 inches long and you need to go to the ER and have it removed.
Val: Is this like a wood? How did this happen?
Nurse: It is metal and about 2 inches, it is showing it could have been there a long time. Did you ever hurt yourself?
Val: I'm sure I have, but wouldn't I know if I had a piece of metal in my foot?
Nurse: Just go to the ER and have it removed, go today.
Val: How is my foot???
Nurse: Oh, you might have a hairline break, but ER can tell you!
Oh my goodness, I freak out and text Alex to get off work and come home. Alex can be strange. This is what I get from him.
Alex: Did you ask if it is an alien probe?
Val: What???
Alex: You know like X-Files.
Val: This is not X-Files it is my foot, and for I know you most likely put it in there.
Alex: No the aliens did!
So I heard all about aliens the whole trip to the ER.
So between the driving and visit, I am on the phone texting Abbie, Jennifer, Billie, and Vanessa. Each try to get my focus back on task. The foreign body in the foot. Of course I am upset.
One thing I did find out is when stressed, I don't hear well. My hearing is gone....not there...forgotten. So after waiting for an hour with screaming babies, Jenna telling me the aliens did not take her mom, and Alex driving me bananas; I get called back!
So alone in the room, peace and quiet- wrong. Little beeps, loud beeps, running, screaming, yelling, crying, and of course the bring the chart noise. So I focused at the task at hand, I called mom....
Val: Mom, did you put a foreign body in my foot?
Mom: No, but who knows with you. Did you see the x-rays?
Val: Alex said it is an alien probe. What do you think?
Mom: Val, you need to focus, first I told you a long time ago Alex is an alien. But wait for the doctor. Call me later.
Val: (hung up) Wait, I'm alone in the room...
Finally the doctor comes in. He explains there is metal in my foot and most likely a needle. It is not in the place I thought it was. It is on the side of the foot. He states unless it causes pain, he suggest leaving it in. WTF, I want this metal out, OUT of my foot. He thinks it could have been in there for up to 20 years and no it is not an alien probe. And oh yes, you have a hairline break in the top of your foot so a soft boot for 2 weeks. He asked if I was in pain from a scale of 1 to 10. I said a about a 3. Are you sure? I looked at him and said, I had bilateral cochlear implant surgery, I know what a ten is. So after a tetanus shot. Got up and walked out boot and all.
So as I leave the noisy ER and wonder, how am I going to get this foreign body out of my foot?
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