Status update IV - early autumn 2008 - part 5 of 5
Posted Oct 22 2008 4:21pm
The mental aspect
After a continuous rise of mental health throughout 2007 and the beginning of 2008 I think it is good in one aspect to get a setback. Life contains both ups and downs and what defines people is how they deal with both. I did a good job on the upside, and now I want to do an even better job on the downside. I owe it to myself, my son, my family and all my supporters out there. My psychological therapy started in 2006 after a full breakdown. At first it was about getting myself up on my feet, and then I needed to learn to walk. This down period I’m into now, told me one thing clearly: I need to learn to walk on my own. I have become somewhat dependant to the psychological therapy, which can not be good in the long run. So the goal for me now is to start detaching from the whole therapy thing. Time to think about throwing away the crutch.
I’m still afraid of the CI-procedure and what will mentally happen to me during the fight for bilateral which I expect will end in a clearly defined NO. (I know I’m pessimistic, but to me this is the reality I need to face: it is not common procedure these days to get simultaneous bilateral CI in Norway. I don’t want to raise my expectations, because I know the disappointment will be difficult to bear. I’d rather fight the bilateral fight, and then become positively surprised if I manage to argue well with the deciding bodies of the political and medical bureaucracy. So the process of detachment from therapy starts now, with a goal of ending it sometime next year. I don’t go there every week, so I have a good starting point in that manner.
Things will happen this autumn and winter. I think I will save the details about that for later more detailed posts. But I think it will be interesting and maybe a little bit exciting. I can tell you this much: I have been interviewed about the whole “waiting for CI”-thing, and it will be published some time next month, I think… Will of course translate this article from Norwegian and post it here for you all to read. Hope it stirs up some debate, that is for sure!