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Reasons I can't date a deaf guy (warning: offensive)

Posted Jul 15 2012 12:00am

1. Deaf culture is a small community. Chances are, it'll go through the grapevine before the end of this week.
2. In writing, he won't get idioms like "through the grapevine"
3. Calm down! In public! 
4.  Deaf Standard Time* can be fun.... but not when I have homework to do
5. Bluntness in ASL is cultural but I don't REALLY want to know that my new pants make me look fat
6. Maybe a lot of things are cliche for good reasons, but having to answer what everyone is wondering when I say I'm dating someone ("Is he deaf or not?") -- with "deaf" is too cliche for me
7. I still twitch a little when I see the word "your" used incorrectly (see: your so nice). Your texts, while sweet, are still torture to read.
8. Gotta say the no-privacy thing again (#1)- that's a biggie for me
9. I'll probably know your ex-girlfriends, unless you were mainstreamed too
10. I'll admit it- hearing about how you grew up at the state school which basically sounds like Hogwarts- a big old place, old-fashioned dorms, and being surrounded by books (love!)- makes me a little bit jealous I never went. 
11. My love for sounds/music is such a big part of me- & I ache for people who haven't gotten to experience that in its fullness.
12. You won't stop texting me. A little space, please?
13. You'll probably see my body language before my words... hmmm, maybe this is a good thing. Goes both ways! 
14. After dating him, people start introducing you to other Deaf people as "____, went to _____Elementary and _____ high school, oh and ______'s ex!"
15. "The only thing I can't do is hear"- no, there ARE other things you can't do! (Like the dishes....)

*No, this isn't something dirty. This is a popular reference to how it takes Deaf people forever to stop socializing and say goodbye. I've heard it traces back to a cultural history of being isolated from communication-- except when with other Deaf people.
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