Poor Thomas has been through so much testing, re-testing and assessments in the past few weeks he has NOT been looking forward to going to his therapy sessions. Although most try to make it quick and fun....he still doesnt care for it. I have anxiety. I'm having trouble sleeping...not falling asleep ~ but staying asleep. I wake up thinking.....thinking about the decisions I have to make for Thomas. Where is my crystal ball so I can see into the future to help me with the decisions I have to make today? I want to make sure that everything is in place and that EVERYONE involved has Thomas' best interest when preparing for this IEP. To tell you the truth, the thought of sending Thomas to all day Kindergarten next year scares me. Preschool isn't bad. I drop him off ...drive down the street back home and pick him up 2.5hrs later. Not much can happen in a few hours (not that I expect it too...his preschool is great). Thinking of my little Thomas away from me for 8hrs worries me. What if something happens at school, what if some kid is mean to him? Makes fun of him? What if Thomas misses something the teacher says? Please God give him the confidence to speak up for himself, to ask questions, ...whether it be to his teacher, school personnel or other students. I can't be with him, I can't stand right next to him and help guide him through his day. I know he has to grow up but he will only be 5. I worry so much ... as i sit here and type this I'm crying (the lack of sleep doesnt help, I'm sure). We met with the school that I'm leaning towards sending Thomas...they were wonderful. I met with the vice principal and special education coordinator (who does have some background working with the deaf/hoh and he graduated from Gallaudet). He looked at Thomas last IEP and suggested ADDING speech therapy time! I told them that Thomas doesn't like any special attention brought to him...so they agreed that along with pull-out service the speech therapist would come into the classroom and work with him (and some friends). Of course, we will iron out the details when/if that school is chosen. At the beginning of the year we will have a little talk with the other studetns, introduce Thomas and explain what his processors are, what they do, that they are not toys (lol) answer any questions and hopefully make Thomas more comfortable so he doesn't get stares and lots of questions. For now, I am mentally preparing for Friday's IEP. An invite went out to the 3 prospective schools, Thomas TOD will be in attendance along with the school psychologist, his speech therapist, educational audiologist, his itinerant teacher, myself (maybe Dad if he can get off work). Our private SLP (who has been communicating with the school therapist, teacher and TOD) assures me that everyone does have Thomas' best interest at heart. She is the one professional that knows Thomas the best..she has been seeing him since he was 6mths old. She also knows me pretty well...which is why I received a phone call from her yesterday answering some of my questions and calming my nerves! Thank you Lindsay ~ you are the best! OK...breathe....breathe...whew! I'm glad I got all of this off my chest. I'm hoping to look back at this post, years from now, and laugh at how worried I was for nothing! But for now I will try to take one day at a time and love my little guys and cherish the time I have with them (and the time they want to spend with me). p.s. if you got through this rambling thank you for listening (or reading)!