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(NL-0021) Run Silent, Run Deep – A CI Class Submarine

Posted Mar 27 2009 12:00am

When was the last time you were in a submarine? I’ve been in at least 30 different subs, mostly non-operational museum units, but also a few “live” vessels. Today, my new Cochlear Implant reminds me of those submarines in several compelling ways. 

Underwater.  Like a submariner, my newly implanted ear feels like it’s under water, and very thick water at that.  Maybe like what you would find in a mud hole. Sludgy and full of unidentifiable debris. Yuck. 

Pressure. It feels like someone hooked up a compressor and pumped up my inner ear. I suspect that if I jumped in the ocean right now, the right side of my head would be bobbing around like a piece of Styrofoam. No need for a life preserver here. 

Pings.  For those not familiar with the term, a “ping” is a short narrow pulse of sound generated by a submarine’s sonar. My ear is pinging, and pinging, and pinging.  Sounds like the background track of 20,000 leagues beneath the sea. If it doesn’t stop pinging pretty soon I think the environmental groups and the SPCA are going to sue me for interfering with whale and dolphin navigation. I think I’ve already caused a couple of whale beachings in California. 

Depth Charges.  Well, things are not exactly exploding in my ear.  But I’m getting some pretty sharp (but thankfully intermittent) pains inside my implanted ear. Feels like mini depth charges anyway. 

But I guess things aren’t really all that bad for me today. I’m not as dizzy as I have been and I no longer get the spinning sensation while walking.  The incision is healing very nicely.  And I have a post-op check up scheduled for next Tuesday. 

*BOOM* Oh boy.  Feels like the next wave of depth charges are coming in.  I guess it’s time to find my Tylenol.


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