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Posted Nov 17 2008 11:49pm
I was born with bilateral sensorineural hearing loss. I didn’t accept the hearing aid thing until I was about 20 years old. I wore the aids in both ears but not all the time it was maybe two times a year if that. My parents kept buying me hearing aids (which to me was a waste) every five years. The reason for not accepting my hearing loss was because I was made fun of all the time in school. I never had friends. I even had an fm system students in the classroom would throw off my desk as they walked by. When I reached 20 years old and started college, I notice a big difference in my hearing and I knew that my hearing has dropped when I was in a classroom and I couldn’t hear mumbling like I used to in the front row. I found out there was a language called “AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE” (ASL).Now I never took a language before because I was able to in special Ed. The truth is …once I learned sign language and mastered it within two months it changed my world. Not only did I meet deaf people I also met hard of hearing people and for the first time in my life I was with people Just like me. I was in “My World”. I was so happy going out on Friday nights to deaf events, hanging out signing and meeting people like meet all the time. I thought all my life I was the only person who was “different”. I learned so much these pass four years it’s been amazing experience for me. I can’t believe I always kept my hearing loss in the back of my mind but now as I’m writing this It happened in the past and now I can only learn from it and move on just like I have been doing these past few years that flew by. It is very hard for me to tell someone that I’m HOH (Hard of Hearing) till this day just like an incident at the post office today... I had to mail a few things and the woman said something to me and I couldn’t understand her so like I usually do whoever’s with me I turn to them. So I looked at my grandmother and I said “what did she say”. Now I don’t know why I have been doing this for years... And I guess it’s a very old bad habit of mine to get help from the other person that is with me. I did it all the TIME. I can’t help it. Well anyway- my grandmother said “she’s hard of hearing”. And then I looked back at the woman and I still didn’t understand her and then my grandmothers phone rang and that’s when I knew I was screwed the woman goes “WELL LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME”. I was saying in my head I am what the heck do you want me to do!!!!! I felt horrible after that for a few hours but I got over it after a few ours. The woman I think she had an accent. I don’t know I could be wrong. It is hard because I speak very well just like a hearing person so you will never guessed in a million years that I have a hearing loss.
As of today’s date I still can’t hear out of my right ear. It has been extremely difficult. The pass month without my good ear. I experienced sudden deafness and I have no idea why this happened to me. Well I don't hear anything in social situations anymore. I can hardly get by when I’m just talking to one person. Usually I go yeah, uhuh, like my usual habit but I really need to break out of that and start telling people I can’t understand what they’re saying. But I just don’t do it. Maybe my mind is just used to the old bad habits. And maybe because I finally came out of the bubble that I was in all these years being isolated which is still happening.

Well maybe tomorrow will be a better day! You can only take one day at a time.
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