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My Life is an Extended Blooper Reel

Posted Apr 01 2009 2:52pm
This has been a weird kind of week..... It's one of those times where if I would just sit down and capture all the details on paper (or computer more likely) I might have started a true life comedy and best seller. No, nothing overly thrilling... but just the usual tales of the bloopers that make up my life. My friends humor me and tell me my stories are fabulous, but I'm pretty sure they mean that in a "and thank God it's you and not me" kind of way.

Where to start?? Last Saturday we took Aidan to the Houston Livestock and Rodeo. It is truly one of my favorite times of the year. I LOVE the rodeo. It was raining and the first day of spring break for all of Houston and the surrounding areas. We should've known it would be a zoo, literally, with a gazillion children in line for the petting zoo, pony rides, the cow barn, and even the exhibition areas with animals since the outside carnival was closed down. First we get there and go see the pigs. Aidan took off with James hot on his heels down the piggy lane... petting each pig for a hot second before taking off for the next. That child kills me. I have video of trying to keep up with him as I was pushing his stroller while he takes the occasional peek over his shoulder to see how close we are to catching up with him as he zigzags around the crowds. Then I took him to the petting zoo and he ran from goat to goat wrestling (again... literally) the poor things with his ferocious and maiming hugs. He ran up to a big ole llama and stuck his hand in its eyes and mouth.... then he pulled on the ears of a litter of tiny baby goats. I got more than one dirty look zipping behind him with the Flip camera while pulling him back from loving on the animals so intensely. We also took him through the barn where there were all kinds of big cows and bulls/steers, and a variety of goats and pigs. His dad thinks he is reliving his 4-H days by showing us how he can moo to a cow and get the cow to moo back. See, it's not me Aidan gets all the weirdness from, people! (His dad once raised a pig only to find out it was underweight before competition. PETA would probably love to know he bloated his pig up on water from a hose so he'd qualify to compete and eventually even place...) I also have James mooing on tape. I am ready to activate this implant already so I can get the full listening experience from the video. Aidan watched James in fascination. James left the building, and meanwhile Aidan walked up to a pig who started to nibble on his hand. I don't think Aidan liked that too much and was looking at his snotty looking hand in disdain. I couldn't believe he drew the line at slurping pigs on his fingers. We also took Aidan to the rabbit exhibit. *BIG EYEROLL* What did my son do?? Well first there was a big rabbit a lady was holding that Aidan started tugging on...hard. Said lady was not a happy camper. I moved him along to the next lady who was holding a gerbil, and my darling son snatched that gerbil right out of her hand and tossed the poor thing on the table. just. like. that. opps. Again, dirty look and I moved him along to the caged rabbits he, fortunately, couldn't touch. I was extremely grateful to James for taking Aidan with him for about 30 minutes and giving me the card to go shopping. I left with a new purse, wallet, turquoise/silver ring and bracelet. A totally fabulous reward for my hard work already that day. The last thing we did before we walked out of the rodeo was take him on his first pony ride. That was just really darned cool. I walked behind him filming it all only to find out it either wasn't on correctly or it was accidently deleted. Well, his proud papa stood on the side and made pictures every time Aidan came around. Aidan had no interest in posing and was completely engrossed in the pony experience. I guess with papa and mamarazzi like he has tailing him in public for almost two years, he's been forced to just tune us out in order to enjoy his life.

Tuesday, Aidan and I went on a long long walk. We walked to my father in law's house to say hello and feed the ducks, but they weren't home. Every time we walked past one of the manmade lakes on our walk over, Aidan threw a hissy fit to get out and feed his ducks. I turned around and went back to the park where we blew bubbles, played on the swings and slides (which I totally forgot to ask Dr. McReynolds about... as I'd read plastic slides and cochlear implants can be a lethal combination... well lethal for the CI... not me personally...) and then I followed his happy slappy self trotting off to the duck pond where we sat by the pond feeding the ducks. It was a classic Hallmark visit to our local park on a beautiful spring day... until that happy slappy little goofball jumped up and ran pellmell for the pond with me just one step behind him. The next thing I knew we were at the edge before I could reach him, and just as I grabbed him I lost my footing and *kerplunk* we both went flying in with the fishes, turtles and ducks (who all fled from us at this point.) I was stunned. Aidan was shellshocked. I stood there in my beautiful new tennis shoes up to my knees in water and holding my child who looked at me all sentimental, teary, and sputtering. Yes, there were other people there at a distance. I'm sure they had to have seen us, but they left us alone in that very awkward, uncomfortable, wet moment as we stood in the shallow pond water. If there was one saving grace it was that the water wasn't any deeper than it was. I had to grab a tree root to haul us up as the drop off to the pond is quite sudden with no slope to tread up on and out of the water easily, and I immediately put my dripping wet and unusually silent and still child in his stroller. Then I sloshed home about half a mile soaking wet with dirty knees silently steaming. When we got home I peeled off his stinky clothes and shoes at the front door and went directly to call James on the video phone with one of those "and let me tell you what YOUR child just did...." calls. The interpreter was amused. Aidan finally broke his silence sitting in the floor leaning against the doorway crying furiously. I brought him over to the phone and told him his daddy was on the phone... and instead of getting excited and saying "Daddy, Daddy..." like he usually does, he turned his lips down and whined "ducks, ducks..." like he was just terrorized by his experience. Sheesh. Daddy thought it was amusing too and had to throw in one of those told-you-so comments since Aidan has been trying to make a break for the pond for a year now, which has been why I rarely ever take him there anymore. He's just not normal...that child....

After that I got Aidan cleaned up for a night out at Chuck E. Cheese date with his dad since we hadn't been there since, oh... Sunday, a whole two days. I met my friend, Dannette and her husband for a 10:30 open captioned movie, Slumdog Millionaire. Awesome, profound, and touching movie. It was cool showing her my cochlear implant to be surgical scars and shaved head and catching up on their lives. They are moving to Austin this summer where she plans to teach deaf education pre-school next year hopefully at Texas School for the Deaf. Dannette was Miss Deaf Texas when I was Miss Deaf Tennessee, and we've been very close ever since we met at the Miss Deaf America Pageant in 1994. I also found out a mutual friend is also getting a cochlear implant next month, and I can't wait to catch up with her and see how everything works out with her too. After the movie I stopped at Walmart for a few things and darned if I didn't set off the alarms coming and going. This day was just getting better and better. The guy manning the door was just looking at me oddly and I had to explain the whole "I just had surgery and have a magnet in my head...see my scar..." thing.... blah. I hope that doesn't happen often. It hasn't happened at the other Walmart near me, and it is a more updated store. I'm guessing maybe the alarm system there is more advanced and sensitive than the one at the store where I set off the alarm. It really drove home the whole thing of having a computer in my head. Every day I can feel the magnet more and more clearly. It is just insane thinking there is a foriegn object implanted there that is going to change my life (and hopefully make the title of this blog become a reality as I really expect to hear "that"....lots and lots of this 'n' that.)

The next day I went to my doctor check up a whole day early, and there I thought I was running late. I really need to carry a calendar. Aidan made several friends in the waiting room playing with his trains, running and jumping around with a big grin on his face and dispensing hugs. He also enjoyed the car stickers and lollipop from the staff. Figures, it was the one day James couldn't take him at that time, and it wasn't even my day to be there. Needless to say there was no interpreter either being a whole day early. Dr. McReynolds was really cool about seeing me anyway and said everything looked great, and he'd come by for my first mapping to make sure everything looks good. I'm touched he is going the extra mile as he certainly doesn't have to be there. I really really like him. He also seems really impressed I still retain some residual hearing in my right ear. I actually wore both hearing aids to watch American Idol this week, but my implanted ear felt exhausted afterwards and the benefit from the hearing aid was minimal, but there was some.

After the doctor appointment, I took Aidan to McDonalds to play in the big play area for a couple of hours. He made a lot of insta-friends with the older kids. He also ventured all the way to the top of the maze TWICE with the help of some girls and this child is not yet even two... he's such a big brave boy. He was scared, but he kept going and even slid down the big loopy slide that starts at the ceiling and twists and turns several times on the way down. I held my breath and was so proud of him for trying it. He was really cute waving at me from waaaaaaay up top while looking a little frozen like..."oh *bleep*bleep* what have I done????" Meanwhile I was forced to eat our Big Mac solo since he was too busy playing. Well, I didn't want to waste it, you know. It was not my finest moment since going back on Weight Watchers in January.... I won't even mention the fries, Coke(s) or parfait... no need really.

Today we hung out at home. I'm incredibly sore and stiff from our long walk this week and tumble in the pond (and trips to Walmart, Kohls, and the rodeo didn't help either.) Aidan has an ugly cold... lots of sniffles, coughing, and tears. We've skipped the bloopers for the day and enjoyed about 5 different shows of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. We also talked to my friend, Crissie in Tennessee on the video phone since she is out of work sick herself. Aidan LOVES talking to her and calling out to her cat, Tux. Hopefully we'll be able to catch up with Crissie live and in person this summer. Aidan already thinks he knows her well. He woke up from his nap asking to talk to her and ran to the office to see if she was still on the tv.... really cute.... It was a nice and much needed break from the daily hee-haws in our lives lately. ;-)
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