The recovery process for me following implantation in both instances has been less than pleasant, so it has been no accident that I removed myself from circulation for the ensuing eight days.
Its school holidays and our 14 year old son, Carl has travelled up with us for the big moment of Switch-On of my second implant. We were late leaving last night so decided to eat first at the new Nando’s in Rotorua.
Monday dawns cold and wet following the coldest weekend I can remember with most South Island and Central North Island roads closed by snow and ice. When Carls finishes his cooked breakfast including bacon, sausages and waffles we leave our motel and find our way to the University of Auckland ‘Tamaki Campus’ in Glenn Innes. It is here that I will continue my MAPping experience from this new location but with the same familiar professionals, Ellen and Gayle. We are in for a surprise!
Parking is a breeze and unlike Greenlane Clinic, there are no parking wardens who remind me of Buckingham Palace guards in their somberness and trademark frown. Nor are there any of those confounded ticket dispensers which try to talk to me like a Martian phoning home. We drive in the gates and park directly opposite the audiology clinic, just 25 metres away, how easy is that? Upon reaching the entrance I’m immediately aware that this is no ordinary place and not just another district Health Board entity. This is in fact the University of Auckland ‘ ‘School of Population Health’. I ponder this thought and wonder if there is any health (or for that matter sickness) without any population.
We are soon greeted by Ellen and Gayle who usher us to their new facility for MAPping. The MAPping room is kind of like a penitentiary interview room, not that I have experienced one. There are four un-matching chairs and a very small table, it couldn’t possible be considered a desk. Once Gayle place my considerable file on the top, the remainder of the table is taken up with the Ellen’s key board and flat screen monitor. Certainly no room for me to lean my elbows and I’m sitting so close I had better behave as my shins are rather exposed!
After pleasantries and confirmation the ladies still have their sense of humor intact, Ellen asks me to attach my first implant (right) processor to the computer programming cable connected to a juncture on her desk top. MAPing begins with a new impedance test and further adjustments to both T and C levels. This process takes a further hour and three new programs are saved using CIS Strategy. Its power hungry and will chew through three batteries in just 18 hours but, it ‘sounds’ good, I know its going to work for me. We break for lunch and agree to meet for back here for Switch-On of my second implant at 1pm.
First stop is ‘Postie Plus’ in Panmure to buy me a shirt for the next day, remembering what I need to at the moment is certainly not my strong point. Following the purchase of my $30 shirt we head back to the Campus for a lunch time experience in the Café on the first floor.
Again we are reminded there this is no ordinary place and these are no ordinary people. I’m convinced that there is a real scientific reason for the way in which all these serious scholars have packed their home made Sammie’s. Given their deftness in the execution of this process its almost certain that many hours research and full medical double-blind clinical trials have ensued prior to publication of the technique in the ‘Intellectuals Population of Health’ guide to correct dietary logistic process’s. Following lunch and a few more chuckles I need to visit the loo before my Switch-On with Gayle and Ellen. I’m interested in a sign that heralds ‘Accessible Toilet’ and make a mental note to ask my brother Hamish if there are and toilets at Massey University that are indeed accessible and if not how they combat such a problem!
Ellen hands me a new Cochlear Nucleus Freedom processor for my left ear. I attach it to her desk top computer connection and we begin a new MAP using ACE Strategy.
ACE Strategy, or Advanced Combination Encoder. A digital (FM) signal sampled is filtered through a filter bank at 16 kHz. The Fast Fourier Transform (FTF) inputs blocks 128 data bands at 16 kHz over 8 milliseconds. Technical yes but simple if you are a computer geek who understands complex mathematical algorithms. I’m not one of them!
First Ellen conducts a simple electronic check to confirm the integrity of all 22 electrodes. All channels are operational and she continues with an impedance test before we follow the now familiar process to set my ‘T’ and ‘C’ levels. Finally she saves four programs complete with a selection of Cochlear’s new smart stratagem. This whole process has taken just 25 minutes and the moment has arrived for this second implant to be switched on.
This act, in its self heralding my new beginning as a truly ‘Cyborg being’, defined as “a human who has certain physiological processes aided or controlled by mechanical or electronic devices”.
ACE strategy ‘sounds’ almost real and although I have a slight echo my definition is improving. I think I’m going to love surround sound!
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Its school holidays and our 14 year old son, Carl has travelled up with us for the big moment of Switch-On of my second implant. We were late leaving last night so decided to eat first at the new Nando’s in Rotorua.
Monday dawns cold and wet following the coldest weekend I can remember with most South Island and Central North Island roads closed by snow and ice. When Carls finishes his cooked breakfast including bacon, sausages and waffles we leave our motel and find our way to the University of Auckland ‘Tamaki Campus’ in Glenn Innes. It is here that I will continue my MAPping experience from this new location but with the same familiar professionals, Ellen and Gayle. We are in for a surprise!
Parking is a breeze and unlike Greenlane Clinic, there are no parking wardens who remind me of Buckingham Palace guards in their somberness and trademark frown. Nor are there any of those confounded ticket dispensers which try to talk to me like a Martian phoning home. We drive in the gates and park directly opposite the audiology clinic, just 25 metres away, how easy is that? Upon reaching the entrance I’m immediately aware that this is no ordinary place and not just another district Health Board entity. This is in fact the University of Auckland ‘ ‘School of Population Health’. I ponder this thought and wonder if there is any health (or for that matter sickness) without any population.
We are soon greeted by Ellen and Gayle who usher us to their new facility for MAPping. The MAPping room is kind of like a penitentiary interview room, not that I have experienced one. There are four un-matching chairs and a very small table, it couldn’t possible be considered a desk. Once Gayle place my considerable file on the top, the remainder of the table is taken up with the Ellen’s key board and flat screen monitor. Certainly no room for me to lean my elbows and I’m sitting so close I had better behave as my shins are rather exposed!
After pleasantries and confirmation the ladies still have their sense of humor intact, Ellen asks me to attach my first implant (right) processor to the computer programming cable connected to a juncture on her desk top. MAPing begins with a new impedance test and further adjustments to both T and C levels. This process takes a further hour and three new programs are saved using CIS Strategy. Its power hungry and will chew through three batteries in just 18 hours but, it ‘sounds’ good, I know its going to work for me. We break for lunch and agree to meet for back here for Switch-On of my second implant at 1pm.
First stop is ‘Postie Plus’ in Panmure to buy me a shirt for the next day, remembering what I need to at the moment is certainly not my strong point. Following the purchase of my $30 shirt we head back to the Campus for a lunch time experience in the Café on the first floor.
Again we are reminded there this is no ordinary place and these are no ordinary people. I’m convinced that there is a real scientific reason for the way in which all these serious scholars have packed their home made Sammie’s. Given their deftness in the execution of this process its almost certain that many hours research and full medical double-blind clinical trials have ensued prior to publication of the technique in the ‘Intellectuals Population of Health’ guide to correct dietary logistic process’s. Following lunch and a few more chuckles I need to visit the loo before my Switch-On with Gayle and Ellen. I’m interested in a sign that heralds ‘Accessible Toilet’ and make a mental note to ask my brother Hamish if there are and toilets at Massey University that are indeed accessible and if not how they combat such a problem!
Ellen hands me a new Cochlear Nucleus Freedom processor for my left ear. I attach it to her desk top computer connection and we begin a new MAP using ACE Strategy.
ACE Strategy, or Advanced Combination Encoder. A digital (FM) signal sampled is filtered through a filter bank at 16 kHz. The Fast Fourier Transform (FTF) inputs blocks 128 data bands at 16 kHz over 8 milliseconds. Technical yes but simple if you are a computer geek who understands complex mathematical algorithms. I’m not one of them!
First Ellen conducts a simple electronic check to confirm the integrity of all 22 electrodes. All channels are operational and she continues with an impedance test before we follow the now familiar process to set my ‘T’ and ‘C’ levels. Finally she saves four programs complete with a selection of Cochlear’s new smart stratagem. This whole process has taken just 25 minutes and the moment has arrived for this second implant to be switched on.
This act, in its self heralding my new beginning as a truly ‘Cyborg being’, defined as “a human who has certain physiological processes aided or controlled by mechanical or electronic devices”.
ACE strategy ‘sounds’ almost real and although I have a slight echo my definition is improving. I think I’m going to love surround sound!